For as long as I can remember, I've always been drawn to the darker aesthetics of life. Whenever there was a character dressed in black, wore heavy makeup, or had an alternative outlook on life, I was always drawn to that character. Since I admired the looks and ideas of these spooky people on television and in the movies, I started to emulate their looks in middle school. I started seeking more gloomy music to listen to and loved it (and still do). I, like those characters on the screen, see things in different ways that many people don't understand. I see the beauty in the darkest of times and I see the frailty of the lightest days. Happiness is fleeting, as is suffering, yet we need to carry on. Perhaps I am jaded. I digress.

As a mostly lifelong appreciator of all things unconventional and dark, I must say I've noticed a trend in the past five years that has rubbed me the wrong way. Let me start with an example: when I was in high school, I started to experiment with dark lipsticks. I loved them, they were difficult to find at the drugstore, and I was the only girl in the school who wore these colors. I was unique, I was bold, I was different. Fast forward to my freshman year of college. It was around this time that the Kardashians were beginning to be the fashion muses of the entire Western world. Well, one photo of Khloe Kardashian wearing dark purple lipstick and suddenly, EVERYONE wanted dark lipstick. This irked me at the time because, for as much as I enjoyed my dark lipstick, I was always given the spiel on, "You'd be prettier if you didn't wear that" or I'd get, "Who do you think you are wearing that color?" Suddenly because some member of a rather talentless family decides to wear a dark lipstick, everyone now wants to look like her.

What irks me about this to this day are the questions. What makes it acceptable for a celebrity to wear something that I've been wearing for years that I have been ridiculed for wearing? Why does she get to rush in on my vibe and receive no repercussions? I don't get it. The popular girls wear a dark lipstick and suddenly it's cool. I've been wearing it for years and I've been getting side eyes from my peers and adults all the while. It sickens me.

I've never been the popular girl and quite frankly, it's not something I've ever strived for. Due to this lack of "popular girl" status, I think that's why I have always embraced the "weirdo" and "outcast" characters in television and film. I've always seen myself in them. The good hearts who get passed over and tormented by others for simply existing.

As the years have gone by and I've joined Instagram (I joined in 2014, I'm always late to the party. I usually don't want to go, haha) I've noticed a huge increase in popularity in goth and alternative fashion, style, interests, and lifestyles. This leads me to wonder, is it social media that has helped us creeps connect with one another? Or is it simply because of people making "Halloween 365" just a popular catchphrase? I wonder this because when I was first interested in goth fashion and lifestyle (back in 2003-2004), there were few select websites available. My favorite site to cruise for inspiration was an art site called DeviantArt (still live and running). Now, I log onto any given social media platform and there are endless fashion and lifestyle websites to peruse. It shocks me. As my title reads, they used to make fun of us, now they want to be us. I can't shake this feeling that fashion designers, interior designers, and makeup companies have seen an opportunity to cash in on alternative styles and it's just all a money making machine. I can't help but wonder how many people have jumped on the spooky bandwagon simply as a fashion statement. For some it may be a phase, but for people like me, it's a way of life.

The short of the long of it: I guess I'm frustrated about how genuine people are about being a part of the goth and alternative subcultures. It's hard to not find it a bit suspicious when a former classmate who used to torment you about your clothes and makeup starts posting "dark" selfies through your newsfeed. Maybe they picked on me for the way I looked because they wished they could look like me and be comfortable in their skin. If that's the case, then I welcome them to the dark side. However, if it's solely for fashion purposes, I am puzzled and frustrated. It's so much more than just to put on clothes and makeup. I'm still darkly inclined while in my PJs and no makeup. You can't take that part away from me, can you say the same?

For as frustrating as this new youth society fascination with the dark side of life may be, there are certainly perks to it as well. I can dress as I feel most beautiful and comfortable (which is usually black everything) and I no longer receive (as much) ridicule for it. I get many compliments instead. It's quite the 180 from my younger years. More people compliment me on my choice of dark lipsticks than ever. And the bonus of this boom in the alternative fashion and style is that finding dark lipsticks and interesting black clothes is easier than it ever has been! I can walk into high-end makeup stores and find any shade of purple or red that I desire and then some. I can walk into big brand stores that sell everyday basics to pretty party dresses and still find something in black that I love and can afford. In the day to day aspects, being a darkling has become a little less high maintenance. Now, if only the music would catch on.

I want my readers to understand that fashion trends come and go. What's "cool" isn't important. All that really matters is that you are being you. Embrace the true you whether you're a trap queen, a fashionista, a slob, an athlete, a nerd, a ray of sunshine, or a strange little spook like me. As long as you're genuine to yourself, with every aspect of yourself, that's all that truly matters. Don't do something because the popular kids are doing it. Don't do anything to "fit it". Don't place yourself into a box of constraint. As long as you're not hurting anyone or yourself, be you, be true. There's nothing like the original, wonderful, beautiful you.

Take care. Much love.