You Will Always Be My Father, But I Got Myself A Dad.
Kind of weird I referred to you as father. I haven’t done that in what seems like forever. I want to tell you the truth and how I feel.
Here it is, the truth.. To me you’re a “sperm donor.” You can’t possibly be my dad when you haven't been there for anything. You missed out on so much in my life. My first heartbreak, school dances, competitions, recitals; SO many milestones that you will never get to experience. So many things a “father” should be there for, should WANT to be there for. But you weren’t and you didn’t want to be.
All of those times I should have went to you for advice, you weren’t the one I went to; but instead I went to my dad, the father figure that I grew up to love so so much. The dad you should've been but failed at. He was always there for me, through it all. He put the smiles on my face, gave me the laughs that I needed, and was there for the huge moments. He grew to love me like his own, and to cherish every second he had with me.
You had so many chances to be in my life, and help me when I needed it the most. The countless nights in the hospital and long emergency room visits, you weren’t there for those.
He may not be my biological father, but he sure helped me through a lot. He helped me through the hardest things I have experienced in my life. I lost my best friend, to the ugliest thing; Cancer. And through all of the pain and every tear, my DAD was there for me. With texts and calls, big hugs and "it'll be okays". He was there checking up on me. Where were you?
But I want you to know that I did it! I have been so successful without you. I got my license, a car, a job, a diploma, and now im heading to college. I got a full ride to college because of my academics. I am succeeding in life, without you. I am going through the adult world one year at a time, without you. I want to thank you, for not helping me; and allowing me to prove that I can do things alone and be independent; and for giving me the perfect opportunity to meet my dad. The times in my life a child and their parents should spend together celebrating, were times I spent with my dad. You weren't there to support me through it, my dad was. He has been there for me since day one.
I tell myself “he’s missing out on something great, a daughter he never got to have.”
All the times you could've been there as my father. But instead, my DAD, the one I actually had, was. I'm the person I am today because of my mom, friends, and most importantly because of my dad that I love with all my heart.
-- the honest daughter you never got to actually meet.
