I have the best diet tip in the world. Stress. I literally never eat anything unless I have to. I'm diabetic. And I'm pretty sure death isn't knocking on my door anytime soon. Life is a very funny thing, you're living by a script you didn't create and putting together chapters you don't have any control over. Life has a way of kicking you in the teeth and unless you're interested in masochism, it doesn't feel so great. I know what it feels like to feel worthless. To think that you're entire life is defined my something big, or big by your perception. I live in a constant world of "you're not good enough". What gets me is when people think you say those things or act that way because you're asking for attention. Truth be told, I hate attention. I'd rather be a wallflower, hell the picture frame that no one bothers to notice. The one that collects dust. Call me crazy but the more people notice, the more they realize how flawed you are. How unintelligent you are. You're not pretty enough, or skinny enough. The constant state of berating yourself. I know what that's like. I don't judge because I understand. I don't belittle because I used to get that. And I don't hate because I know how it feels. So I live a robotic life with a perfectionist setting, trying hard not to step out of line. I walk the straight and narrow path so that I am never seen breaking a sweat. Do you know how hard it is to try to be perfect, to aim for the sun but constantly getting stuck on the moon. To try your best only to continue getting rejected. Maybe you do, because that's life. And life is never quite fair, rather a Shakespearean play with rare happy endings. I'm just waiting on mine.
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1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick
When I was younger, my mom took such good of me if I got sick. Now, if I puke, I have to clean it up. Gross. I also have to make my own chicken noodle soup. I wish my mom could take of me forever.
2. Making a to-do list
To-do lists are so mom-ish, but I thrive off of them. Plus, they make me feel accomplished as heck.
3. Planning your activities around the weather
It never fails to make me feel old when I say, "There's a chance of snow on Thursday. How about we do Friday instead?"
4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments
Most twenty-somethings fear talking on the phone, myself included. I draw the line at going to the doctor alone, though.
5. Getting your own toilet paper
Nothing makes me feel like I'm officially #adulting like picking up a giant pack of toilet paper at Target...or smuggling some rolls in my backpack.
6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions
"Yeah, Mom? Can you use canola oil instead of vegetable oil? Okay, thanks."..."Hey Mom, me again. This recipe wants two cups of sugar, but I only have one and a half. Should I just try it anyways?"
7. Holding your tongue
In high school, I was a lot more willing to comment on racist Facebook statuses and sexist Tweets. Now, I'd rather just avoid the conflict. It isn't worth it.
8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills
I was excited to get money back from my tax refund, but it all went right back into my bank account. When you're 20 years old, responsibilities come before shopping sprees, unfortunately.
9. Balancing your checkbook
Do people in their twenties write checks, or is it just me? There's something so satisfying about getting a sum in your checkbook that equals the sum on your bank account.
10. Going places alone
In high school, I didn't do anything alone. Now, I enjoy my solitude a little more. I walk to class alone and eat lunch by myself. It makes me appreciate my friends so much more!
11. Packing your own lunches
I miss the days where my mom made my lunches for me. Now I just make a sandwich and wish someone had cut the crust off.
12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose
I never thought my fridge would have carrots, broccoli and celery in it. I still don't really like raw vegetables, but I know they're good for me, so I force myself to eat them.
13. Taking a multivitamin
I've got to make sure I'm getting all my vitamins so I can stay healthy. That way I don't have to call the doctor!
14. Planning a life after graduation
Resumes, cover letters and job applications are the worst part of #adulting because they remind me that, someday, I will be a full-time adult. Scary.
Here are 10 Chandler moments that made us all see the "Chan Chan Man" within all of us.
I mean, besides this obvious one:
1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened
2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation
3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations
But, hey, at least he owns up to it!
4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him
5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life
6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape
He tried really hard.
7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences
8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason
9. He Always Knew How to Jam
10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun
Sure, he may be awkward and desperate for love, but if you're the Chandler of the group, your flaws just make you even more adorable!
Working with the public can be a job, in and of itself. Some people are just plain rude for no reason. But regardless of how your day is going, always having to be in the best of moods, or at least act like it... right?
1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.
2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.
3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!
4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!
5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!
6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!
7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.
8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.
9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!
10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!
11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!
12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!
I enjoy my job don't get me wrong... but sometimes all I have to say is IT GETS OLD!
For example, you are never stopped by people in the mall trying to sell you stuff, and it's secretly fun to hear that someone was a little intimidated by you when you first met.
That being said, the downside is that people always think you hate them and social events are tragic because you always looked pissed off or bored. In the end, no matter how extreme your RBF is, you probably encounter/have encountered a handful of these 11 situations.
1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.
But the whole time you talked to them you tried really hard to seem happy and friendly and genuinely thought you pulled it off.
2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.
And you can't help but roll your eyes, which probably doesn't help your case.
3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."
Not like you haven't heard that before. It's expected and doesn't even come as a surprise anymore.
4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.
You smiling 24/7 is way worse than your mean face. Trust me.
5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."
You gave up on trying to convince everyone that it's just your face!
6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.
Whoops. Better go send them an apology text.
7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.
Probably because your face doesn't really signal that you're joking, but you've learned to make it clear you're just kidding by laughing obnoxiously.
8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.
And you think, "maybe that's why people don't talk to me..."
9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.
It's a cold world out there for people with RBF.
10. Your "mad face" scares you.
*shudders*
11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.
"I can't repeat it enough that it is just my face."
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