We all played the game in elementary school. Sit around in a circle. Someone make up a funny phrase and whisper it to the person next to them. Keep sharing the secret phrase until it gets around back to where it started and then everyone burst out laughing when it sounds so ridiculously unfamiliar to the original phrase.
Telephone, they called it.
They taught us about the dangers of spreading rumors and false information in the form of a game.
It was funny. It was amusing.
Too bad we still think it's a game.
I went to a small public high school and I currently attend a small private college. The land of Everybody Knows Everybody and Nothing Is A Secret. Sure, it has it's perks. Most faces are familiar, I have friends from lots of different circles and it's a comfortable place to be in.
The problem, though, is that people talk. We hear some gossip about our neighbor, or the kid three rows over in class, or that friend-of-a-friend who we don't really know but we somehow heard something about them last week. And then we share it with someone else. And so on.
It's hard to resist. Especially when something interesting happens on campus, or there is some scandal or event, and we go crazy. Rumors fly. People are talking. Everyone has their own opinion and thoughts and supposed facts on it. And then it spreads, and facts are twisted, and we are laughing in the circle at the ridiculous phrase that got twisted from the original words.
I'm guilty of it. I talk about rumors and hear things about other people and don't keep it to myself. We all do. For some reason, we can't resist. Because I think, deep down, we know that if we focus our thoughts and our conversations on someone else's life or problems or situations, we don't have to focus on our own life and problems and situations. We have a blind spot to our own shortcomings, but seeing them in other people? Easy. Why deal with your own self when you could just spread the latest campus gossip to your friends?
I don't mean to sound overly critical or harsh, but I think that this is something that is important, and hard, to hear. For me, gossiping tends to be second nature, and I don't even realize I'm doing it. But when you stop and think about what you're saying, that's when it hits you.
Would this person really want other people knowing about it?
Do I even know the real story?
How does this affect my life?
Am I doing the right thing by talking about this rumor, and spreading it further?
Telephone is, actually, terrifying. It is honest in the worst way. Our words DO matter. They DO get twisted. And they WILL hurt someone if it goes too far.
Think about your words today. Do they build up or tear down? Do you even know what you're saying?
This is not a game.
