Gordan Ramsey, the most brutal chef on television, has shown a lot of skill both in cooking and in quick-wit. Basically the Simon Cowell of the kitchen, Gordan Ramsey never holds back what he's feeling.
Here are 37 gourmet insults served by Chef Ramsey in "Hell's Kitchen," "Kitchen Nightmares," and "24 Hours to Hell and Back."
1. "Bland, gloopy, f*cking glue."
2. "I feel like I am eating donkey's c*ck."
3. "What the hell is that? It looks like you've just had a giraffe tongue cut out and deep fat fried."
4. "It looks like a dehydrated turd."
"What the f*ck did you put in this sauce? It's like some f*cking sci-fi sperm."
6. "They've got it wrong on the menu. It's not a crab cake—it's a crap cake."
7. "When you take a bite of that breaded cod, it's almost like you've got a breaded condom in your mouth."
8. "Sharon, enough's enough. F*ck off and go put some more makeup on."
9. "Your special has become not very special thanks to pig face there."
10. "What in the f*ck is going on? Salmon is raw, and the chicken is dry as a f*cking camel's a**hole in a f*cking dessert storm."
11. "Pass it back to Chef Mellissa, that f*cking gremlin. Everything she touches, she screws."
12. "Don't whistle at me. I'm not your f*cking dog. Yeah, you look more like a f*cking dog than I do."
13. "Oh, f*ck off you. You fat, useless sack of f*cking yankee danky doodle shite."
14. "Well I'll get you more pumpkin, and I'll ram it right up your f*cking a**. Would you like it whole or diced?"
15. "I wouldn't feed that to the f*cking mannequin. Even she'd manage to throw that up."
16. "It's like eating a patch of soaking wet grass after a cow shat all over it."
17. "Did someone pee pee on the menu? Is that... That's not a urine stain?"
18. "Before I do taste them, I would like to pray to God before I put any of that in my mouth."
19. "That looks like the inside of a diaper."
20. "So sorry about the old bag."
21. "That is drier than the sands around the pyramids of Egypt."
22. "Well if that's a lasagna, I'm the Pope."
23. "This is the kind of sh*t you'd expect Tiger Woods to tee off with."
24. "Lets give a big f*cking round of applause for the captain hitting the iceberg on the f*cking Titanic."
25. "If I tell you to get out there, I don't give a f*ck if you've got a thong over your fat crack. Get out there!"
26. "I don't know how to wake you up anymore. You're like a zombie. You make him look f*cking good."
27. "You're scaring me. You are the f*cking female version of Hannibal Lecter. Put your f*cking tongue in and concentrate."
28. "Right now this is what I suggest you do—buy a restaurant and put one table in there. Any more than that and you'd be f*cked."
29. "It's like a plastic silicone implant."
30. "My gran could do better. And she's dead!"
31. "Hey, panini head, are you listening to me?"
32. "You give me the, anemic bits of sh*t, I'll f*cking throw them up your a** sideways."
33. "I wish you'd jump in the oven. That would make my life a lot easier."
34. "Honestly, chimichanga... Chimi chuck it in the bin."
35. "I wouldn't trust you running a bath let alone a f*cking restaurant."
36. "You look like you're just about to lose your virginity."
37. "You deserve a kick in the nuts."