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37 Gourmet Insults Gordan Ramsay Has Served Up

"I wouldn't feed that to the f*cking mannequin. Even she'd manage to throw that up."

Lauren Schugg

Aug 12, 2019

Pennsylvania State University

970

37 Gourmet Insults Gordan Ramsay Has Served Up

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1. "Bland, gloopy, f*cking glue."

2. "I feel like I am eating donkey's c*ck."

3. "What the hell is that? It looks like you've just had a giraffe tongue cut out and deep fat fried."

4. "It looks like a dehydrated turd."

"What the fck did you put in this sauce? It's like some fcking sci-fi sperm."

6. "They've got it wrong on the menu. It's not a crab cake—it's a crap cake."

7. "When you take a bite of that breaded cod, it's almost like you've got a breaded condom in your mouth."

8. "Sharon, enough's enough. F*ck off and go put some more makeup on."

9. "Your special has become not very special thanks to pig face there."

10. "What in the fck is going on? Salmon is raw, and the chicken is dry as a fcking camel's a**hole in a f*cking dessert storm."

11. "Pass it back to Chef Mellissa, that f*cking gremlin. Everything she touches, she screws."

12. "Don't whistle at me. I'm not your fcking dog. Yeah, you look more like a fcking dog than I do."

13. "Oh, fck off you. You fat, useless sack of fcking yankee danky doodle shite."

14. "Well I'll get you more pumpkin, and I'll ram it right up your f*cking a**. Would you like it whole or diced?"

15. "I wouldn't feed that to the f*cking mannequin. Even she'd manage to throw that up."

16. "It's like eating a patch of soaking wet grass after a cow shat all over it."

17. "Did someone pee pee on the menu? Is that... That's not a urine stain?"

18. "Before I do taste them, I would like to pray to God before I put any of that in my mouth."

19. "That looks like the inside of a diaper."

20. "So sorry about the old bag."

21. "That is drier than the sands around the pyramids of Egypt."

22. "Well if that's a lasagna, I'm the Pope."

23. "This is the kind of sh*t you'd expect Tiger Woods to tee off with."

24. "Lets give a big fcking round of applause for the captain hitting the iceberg on the fcking Titanic."

25. "If I tell you to get out there, I don't give a f*ck if you've got a thong over your fat crack. Get out there!"

26. "I don't know how to wake you up anymore. You're like a zombie. You make him look f*cking good."

27. "You're scaring me. You are the fcking female version of Hannibal Lecter. Put your fcking tongue in and concentrate."

28. "Right now this is what I suggest you do—buy a restaurant and put one table in there. Any more than that and you'd be f*cked."

29. "It's like a plastic silicone implant."

30. "My gran could do better. And she's dead!"

31. "Hey, panini head, are you listening to me?"

32. "You give me the, anemic bits of sht, I'll fcking throw them up your a** sideways."

33. "I wish you'd jump in the oven. That would make my life a lot easier."

34. "Honestly, chimichanga... Chimi chuck it in the bin."

35. "I wouldn't trust you running a bath let alone a f*cking restaurant."

36. "You look like you're just about to lose your virginity."

37. "You deserve a kick in the nuts."

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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37 Gourmet Insults Gordan Ramsay Has Served Up

"I wouldn't feed that to the f*cking mannequin. Even she'd manage to throw that up."

In This Article:

1. "Bland, gloopy, f*cking glue."

2. "I feel like I am eating donkey's c*ck."

3. "What the hell is that? It looks like you've just had a giraffe tongue cut out and deep fat fried."

4. "It looks like a dehydrated turd."

"What the f*ck did you put in this sauce? It's like some f*cking sci-fi sperm."

6. "They've got it wrong on the menu. It's not a crab cake—it's a crap cake."

7. "When you take a bite of that breaded cod, it's almost like you've got a breaded condom in your mouth."

8. "Sharon, enough's enough. F*ck off and go put some more makeup on."

9. "Your special has become not very special thanks to pig face there."

10. "What in the f*ck is going on? Salmon is raw, and the chicken is dry as a f*cking camel's a**hole in a f*cking dessert storm."

11. "Pass it back to Chef Mellissa, that f*cking gremlin. Everything she touches, she screws."

12. "Don't whistle at me. I'm not your f*cking dog. Yeah, you look more like a f*cking dog than I do."

13. "Oh, f*ck off you. You fat, useless sack of f*cking yankee danky doodle shite."

14. "Well I'll get you more pumpkin, and I'll ram it right up your f*cking a**. Would you like it whole or diced?"

15. "I wouldn't feed that to the f*cking mannequin. Even she'd manage to throw that up."

16. "It's like eating a patch of soaking wet grass after a cow shat all over it."

17. "Did someone pee pee on the menu? Is that... That's not a urine stain?"

18. "Before I do taste them, I would like to pray to God before I put any of that in my mouth."

19. "That looks like the inside of a diaper."

20. "So sorry about the old bag."

21. "That is drier than the sands around the pyramids of Egypt."

22. "Well if that's a lasagna, I'm the Pope."

23. "This is the kind of sh*t you'd expect Tiger Woods to tee off with."

24. "Lets give a big f*cking round of applause for the captain hitting the iceberg on the f*cking Titanic."

25. "If I tell you to get out there, I don't give a f*ck if you've got a thong over your fat crack. Get out there!"

26. "I don't know how to wake you up anymore. You're like a zombie. You make him look f*cking good."

27. "You're scaring me. You are the f*cking female version of Hannibal Lecter. Put your f*cking tongue in and concentrate."

28. "Right now this is what I suggest you do—buy a restaurant and put one table in there. Any more than that and you'd be f*cked."

29. "It's like a plastic silicone implant."

30. "My gran could do better. And she's dead!"

31. "Hey, panini head, are you listening to me?"

32. "You give me the, anemic bits of sh*t, I'll f*cking throw them up your a** sideways."

33. "I wish you'd jump in the oven. That would make my life a lot easier."

34. "Honestly, chimichanga... Chimi chuck it in the bin."

35. "I wouldn't trust you running a bath let alone a f*cking restaurant."

36. "You look like you're just about to lose your virginity."

37. "You deserve a kick in the nuts."

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"What the fck did you put in this sauce? It's like some fcking sci-fi sperm."

10. "What in the fck is going on? Salmon is raw, and the chicken is dry as a fcking camel's a**hole in a f*cking dessert storm."

12. "Don't whistle at me. I'm not your fcking dog. Yeah, you look more like a fcking dog than I do."

13. "Oh, fck off you. You fat, useless sack of fcking yankee danky doodle shite."

24. "Lets give a big fcking round of applause for the captain hitting the iceberg on the fcking Titanic."

27. "You're scaring me. You are the fcking female version of Hannibal Lecter. Put your fcking tongue in and concentrate."

32. "You give me the, anemic bits of sht, I'll fcking throw them up your a** sideways."

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