Now that I'm in college roughly 10 hours away from home, leaving is constant. It's like a rocking chair. I'm consistently going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Regardless, the back and forth has yet to get easier. Perhaps I'm still adjusting to the new routine of having to print a boarding pass every few months. But maybe I'm approaching the goodbye in the wrong way. Maybe if it's hard to say goodbye, your life is truly blessed.
Goodbyes are typically associated with negative connotations. Up until this point in my life, I never realized the beauty of a goodbye. Yeah, it doesn't get easier, but there's a reason for that.
There are all different forms of goodbyes, and in just one lifetime a person has the potential to encounter every single one of them. There's the college goodbye, there's death or a more permanent goodbye, there's moving, which can sometimes be a more unexpected goodbye, there's changing jobs, getting married, ending a relationship… the list is endless. And on top of that, there are all different roles within a goodbye. Maybe right now you're the student, but someday you'll be the parent, the girlfriend, the husband, the cousin, the brother in law, the grandparent, the best friend. Goodbyes are complex, which makes them even harder to mentally grasp and understand.
When saying goodbye, there are a few important things to keep in mind, a few important things that will make that last moment together a little easier. To start, know that feeling sad does not mean you have made the wrong decision. In fact, sometimes it means just the opposite. You should be fortunate to have things back home that are so hard to part ways from.
Use your words. Your last few minutes together with the people you love don't need to be a dramatic, scripted scene from something like Riverdale, but you shouldn't be afraid to be vulnerable. Don't be afraid to remind those people how much you do care about them, especially since the time you have with them is now constantly limited.
Reflect. Remind yourself of the beautiful memories you have together, of the smiles and laughs. Those memories are timeless and can travel with you anywhere you go.
Don't try to avoid the fact that things might be a little different depending on your situation because they will be, but that's all the more reason to make the best of it. Give yourself time.
When you're older, goodbyes tend to feel never-ending. You naturally have this deeper understanding of the world around you, and that understanding sometimes gets in the way of being able to cope with the inevitable situation in front of you.
College students often experience this never-ending feeling that comes with a goodbye. They will come home for the holidays and spend an extended period of time with their loved ones. But then you see the barcode, the boarding passes have been printed again. Bags are packed, hugs are given, and you're on your way. In what feels like three seconds instead of three weeks, you find yourself unloading the car with your luggage and walking on the sidewalk in front of the big sliding glass doors that let you enter the airport. You see your reflection and are reminded of everything you're leaving behind. You think to yourself, I was literally just here.
Considering everything that's going on in the world around us, goodbyes are good. They're more positive than we realize. Being able to love someone so deeply that it hurts when you embrace each other for the last time for a while, is truly a blessing. So maybe when you think about it, goodbyes are the best thing yet the worst thing to happen to us in the course of a lifetime.
This article was inspired by the links below:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201407/5-ways-make-goodbyes-less-painful
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/grand-rounds/201101/why-is-saying-goodbye-so-dang-hard
