It is very easy to forget how much words can hurt you. In this day and age everything is over text messages or Facebook or any other social media site. But sending hurtful messages on any of these platforms hurt just as much as if they were said in person, and for many, they see it without any consequences. It blows me away how often people are hurt by people’s words and actions, yet we don’t have the strength to draw the line and stop it before it goes too far. The amount of times my friends (and even me) have let boys we like be rude and disrespectful astounds me. Even more when we take them back. By letting a man put you down like this truly compromises the respect you have for yourself and also the respect that he has for you. By you accepting it and forgiving him, he will think it is an acceptable behavior; so why stop? You think you are the bigger person since you are the one forgiving him while in reality you are being belittled each and every time. It causes you pain and by thinking that he will change, you accept his derogatory behavior.
I am well aware that not every single person I encounter will like me. We all come from various backgrounds that may have changed and shaped us into who we are, we may still be changing which means that opinions will change too. Just because I may not like you, or that we do not get along, does not make either of us two a bad person. We are all good people, but we have different likes and different opinions which is what makes this world so interesting and also so amazing.
I don’t think that someone would purposely cause someone else pain, I sincerely hope that no one ever would. But considering how different we all are, there is a high chance that we may end up being with someone who ends up hurting us more than doing good. They may text rude things, cancel plans, or cheat on you. Or simply that they drain all of your positive energy leaving you restless, sad and upset with not only him but with everyone. The worst types of toxic relationships are when you are not sure where you stand with someone. They are 100% there one week and then the next he is gone and won’t talk to you. But when someone always tries to come back, that's what's wrong. Realizing the toxicity is hard but essential.
What many people forget about text messages and social media is that anything you post or write will be there forever. Even if you delete it thinking it’s gone, it’s not. It is there to be seen by anyone who wants too. Everything is owned by the site you post on and with enough computer skills you can always retrieve it. People can hurt you over and over again with the same post or text unless you break the cycle.
The key to ending these draining and toxic relationships is realizing what they are actually doing to you. Having been in one myself, I know how hard it is and how much you want to deny it. For me, once I realized what was going on, I had been pulled in too far. The longer it takes for you to realize and do something, the harder it will be. Getting out and ending it for good is not easy. What you need to constantly remind yourself is that it is not worth it. Life is too short to be upset and spend it crying over a boy (who will, by the way, never change—they say they will, but don’t believe them). Finding the strength within you to finally let go is going to be hard. Especially if there are reminders everywhere. Not having to worry about if he will talk to you today or if you are going to be ignored, that is not the way anyone should be treated. No one should ever feel put down by anyone. No boy, friend or family member; simply no one. You should also not let yourself be put down by anyone, it is not worth it. I am a firm believer that, by letting go, you will be happier, and eventually one of the happiest versions of yourself.
