People write different things every day, even when they aren't students or professional writers. Before we set out to write something, whether it be a thesis paper or a Post-it note reminder, we consider our intentions before we begin. Everything written serves a different purpose. Though today it is sometimes considered outdated, letter writing has served as a standard form of communication throughout many centuries and generations.
The concept of the open letter, a spin on traditional letter writing, has recently skyrocketed into popularity thanks to social media sharing. An open letter is a written message directed towards one person, but publicized by the writer for anyone to read, share and comment on it.
Open letters are not always a bad thing. Writing out our feelings is a practice that can help many of us make sense of our emotions and organize our thoughts. When we read other people's open letters, we often relate to them, and they can make us feel less alone in whatever we may be going through. Because of this, open letters could be described as a form of self-expression--however, it is important to remember that while they may be valid as a form of self-expression, open letters are not to be used as a means of communication with our friends, partners or relatives.
If your intention is to make things right with someone, or to directly address an individual with the goal of reaching out and changing something, then an open letter is simply not the way to go. The only way to accomplish and change something in your relationship with another person, whether it be a friend, boyfriend or family member, is direct communication.If you have something that needs to be said to someone, don't say it while hiding behind the veil of an open letter.
The importance of direct communication is something that our generation may be on the verge of losing sight of. Our dependence on technology has simplified and sped up most of the communicating we do on a daily basis, and has allowed much of it to reach an impersonal level. Despite the potential distractions and shortcuts technology brings, it is important to keep in mind the importance of direct communication in healthy relationships. We must remember that although it is not always the easiest option, direct communication is the only way to make progress and reach clear resolutions.
Not too long ago, I had a huge falling out with one of my oldest and closest friends. We both have stubborn personalities, and once we stopped speaking it seemed there was no going back. After seven months of not a single word to one another, I received an email from her with a letter saying everything I needed to hear and never thought I would. In the letter, she reminded me of how important our friendship had been, how stupid it was for us to be willing to throw it away because of a small issue, and she apologized for where she was wrong. I immediately wrote a letter back, and the next day we were speaking again like the best friends we were meant to be and like we had never been separated at all. The direct exchanging of letters had allowed us both to admit where we had been hurt by each other and apologize for where we were wrong, and it brought our friendship back to full strength.
As important as our words were to each other, I know that had one of us posted them as an open letter, they would not have had the same profound affect. We may not have even read them, or they may have been seen as a final goodbye rather than an outreach to make things right. An open letter also would have limited the personal level our letters were able to reach, recounting memories and problems unique to our friendship and us as individuals. This friendship was ultimately revived because my friend decided to be the bigger person and reach out to me directly, and I decided to respond in the same way.
So next time an issue is weighing heavily on your mind and you have something to say to someone, try sending them a letter, email or even text message. If you have the opportunity, you could try to talk to them face to face. It's better to have the fair shot at a resolution or at least closure that direct communication allows for than the lasting unanswered questions of writing an open letter.
