Going through a breakup is rough. But it seems as if going through a break up with someone you never actually dated is just as tough to deal with, if not worse. What is it that makes it so difficult? That keeps you holding on? Was it something you did? What did you do? Say? What did you not do? You keep replaying your every move, every conversation over and over. What did you do?
Nothing, you did absolutely nothing. It is absolutely not your fault. Stop thinking that.
When a girl likes guy, it's practically wired into our brains to imagine a future with that person. Not necessarily marriage, but just as simple as spending the coming holiday together as a couple. Sometimes even as simple as just imagining the two of you actually making a relationship official. So whenever it's out of your control and it ends before it had even begun, not only do you feel disappointment, hurt and rejected but you still have these fantasies of you two in the back of your head. You will remember and think of the good memories you shared and that's okay. It's OK to miss someone, to miss the good times because, at the time, they were good.
Missing someone like this may seem as a hindrance to getting over him but it's not; it's normal, and if you didn't miss anything about him I'd probably be more worried about your normal state of mind. There's a lot to miss about a person. You could miss his smile, his eyes, his touch. Or maybe you miss how he made you feel, the way he looked at you, the butterflies you felt every time he spoke to you. Maybe you miss the chance of his promises being fulfilled. All of these play into your fantasies of a future. As a woman, there is a desire to be loved and wanted that enhances our fantasies. It makes us fall harder and faster for someone who says they'll catch you and be there for you.
When things end before they begin, those fantasies are still alive until you tell yourself that they're not happening. They are alive until you come to an understanding that you did nothing wrong and that you truly deserve something better than what you had at the time. This may be the most difficult part of getting over Mr. Almost but it is necessary to get over it and be happy again.
