"you.

not wanting me.

was

the beginning of me

wanting myself.

thank you"

-excerpt from a book i'll never read

Here I am. A nice, wintry day. Thinking. Lost about how you're gone. How you walked out of my life without a flinch or a good bye. I'm still hurt over everything. I'm still hurt that you threw a year and a half down the drain. I wrote many articles about you. How you were the love of my life, and how distance wasn't going to phase us. We believed that we were one of the strongest couples out there. We believed we were going to be walking down the wedding isle soon. But here I am, sitting and thinking about what I did wrong. Sitting with one person on my side. And there you are, going out on date after date with multiple people, because you can.

I don't ask for much. I don't ask for sympathy. I don't ask for empathy. I don't ask for you to come back. I don't ask for forgiveness. I don't ask for anything.

I'll never forget the night. I'll never forget the fight. I'll never forget the things that were said, and done. You are not a perfect human, and I am also not one. I will never forget you. No matter how much I want to. You'll always have my heart. More than anyone. Never throw that aside.

Here I am. Stronger that you're gone. I am able to love myself before loving someone else. I put myself first. I care about myself. I know I am strong. I know I am big. I know I can rule whatever I need to. Here I am, knowing it's over and I'm shutting the door. There will never be another chance, and I'm okay with that.

It was the wrong time, but right person. I'm sorry I was your princess, but it wasn't the right time.

I hope she loves you like you deserve. I also hope karma comes back to you. Harder than you ever brought me.