Like I've written many times before, study abroad is a lot. It's a good portion of the year dedicated to experiences you probably won't ever have again: traveling most weekends, living in a different country while not just being a tourist, etc. It's a time in life we will never take for granted and will always cherish.

Coming home has been a strange transition--also like I have said before. I have found that if I'm having trouble fully comprehending what I just went through, there's no way my relatives can either. It makes asking questions a bit difficult--and I don't blame them. It's a big deal and it doesn't happen often. The question that is usually asked first is, "How was it?" I get it. That's the first thing you would really ask. However, it's basically impossible to answer without stumbling over months of experiences to pick from. It's hard to generalize and sum up how the experience was in a couple sentences like that question kind of calls for. It's hard because it's not just amazing. It's just as hard as it is amazing, but how do you sum that up while also highlighting that you're grateful for it? But it was still hard, don't think I was just having fun all the time. See what I mean?

So here are some alternative questions to ask your study abroad friend, child, niece, cousin, etc. other than "How was it?" I think you'll find that you'll learn more about their experience if you try to focus your first question. It will give us a starting point instead of stumbling through them and picking one ourselves. We will thank you for it.

1. Where was your favorite place?

This can cover a wide range of ideas when we first hear it. We could think of our favorite places in our host city, host country or the favorite places we travelled. Either way, something will pop into our mind so that we can give you a concrete answer instead of saying, "it was good." It gives us a topic, which is huge. If you want to be more specific that's up to you! Depends on what you want to know.

2. What was the school like?

Contrary to popular belief, we do actually go on "study abroad" to go to school and take classes. Yes, it's not the absolute top priority, but if it was we would stay at our home institution. With that being said, we all have our home institution readily available for comparison. Chances are we have a pretty set perception of our school abroad--whether it's good or bad--and is a very focused question. We'll know exactly where to start, and be able to branch off into other related topics like the campus, where we lived, etc.

3. Did you try traditional food? What was it or why didn't you?

The food is a bigger part of a culture than some might realize. Yes the physical place is obviously more of a drastic culture change, but the food itself takes a toll. Even walking into a grocery store proves this: all of the brands are different or even in a different language. Also, chances are our host country has a few traditional dishes (paella in Spain, haggis in Scotland, etc.). You might be surprised at some of the things we tried to consume while we were gone!

4. Who was the best friend you made there?

This question is cool (in my opinion) because it goes a little deeper into the experiences. It's asking who we essentially experienced all of these things with, which is just as important as what we did. We can then go into the friends we made and the places that they're from. It's cool coming home and realizing you have friends in a lot of different countries that you were never tied to before.

5. What has been the strangest part about coming home?

The transition back home is almost as difficult as transitioning to being abroad--for different reasons, obviously. Chances are we're going through a lot of self-reflection while also trying to accept the fact that our time abroad with endless adventures is over. There's a lot going on in our heads, but opening up the conversation to give us a chance to talk about how we're feeling is a big deal, and we'll appreciate you for it.

Four to six months of a person's life doesn't seem like a lot, but when they're abroad anything is a possibility. They don't have as much of a routine as they do when they're home so they go through a lot in this short period of time. Hopefully, these questions will help the conversation flow a bit better. It's just been hard for me to fully express how I feel about the experience with the typically general questions we ask each other.