What does it mean to be a good person? This is sometimes a difficult question. The simple answer is someone who does the right thing or who makes good choices. But how do they know? A lot of people think their actions are good or in the best interest of themselves or the people around them, but those actions could actually be the ones that are most devastating to others. These misguided attempts at goodness actually make some of the most interesting villains in literature and entertainment. So then how do we recognize the goodness in people and how do we learn to be good people ourselves?
Dictionary.com gives a list of seven possible meanings for the word good. No wonder there's such a struggle with how to define this word. The first definition claims that 'good' means "morally excellent; virtuous; righteous, pious." I call this the hero definition, someone like Captain America or Superman. These characters, generally speaking, are portrayed with a strong sense of right and wrong, of justice and having a high moral standard. These people are maybe a little too much to handle at times because their certainty of what is right makes it difficult for them to see other points of view.
So, does that mean in order to be a good person, everyone has to live like Captain America? I don't think so. Dictionary.com uses other words and phrases in its definitions, including "satisfactory," "right," "kind," "of high quality" and "honorable." I think it's more important to look at some of these words. One thing I noticed in particular is the word 'selfless' is not on the list. Now, obviously selflessness is an attribute of good people, but it wasn't important enough to make the dictionary list.
I wonder how that debate went. Maybe there was some kind of council, and two or more linguists were working on the definition of good and debating over whether or not one needed to be completely selfless in order to be good. I'm sure there were good points made on both sides, obviously selflessness is an admirable and incredibly difficult quality to possess, but one that certainly a good person would have. But I don't think a person has to be entirely selfless in order to be considered good. Perhaps if we were making a discussion for perfection, but that's a debate for another day.
Goodness, to me, is about trying to do the right thing, and make choices that improve quality of life for yourself and other people. I believe good people consider all their options, and follow their conscience when it comes to how they live their lives. They look out for others, they are considerate and kind, but they also stay true to who they are and don't change for anyone. They aren't afraid to sacrifice their needs when the moment calls for it, but they understand that they can't give to others if they have nothing left to give. Sometimes, they have to receive too, and that can be a difficult line to walk.
I've debated the idea of a good person a lot over the past few months. It's difficult to establish a clear definition. But I think at the end of the day, being good is about doing the best you can, being kind and respectful of people around you, and also remembering that it's OK to be kind to yourself.
