I was only about seven years old when 9/11 happened, just a mere second grader not fully aware of the damage that occurred that day, how many lives were lost, how many families affected, how many years from now we'd still be feeling the effects of it. Because I was so young, I didn't experience the sadness, anger and fear everyone else in the world was feeling. My parents shielded me from that devastating hate just like any other good parent would. Ever since then, we've dealt with numerous attacks on our world from hateful, spiteful people hell-bent on hurting others. And while I've gotten older and understand a bit more the feelings of disdain when something like that happens, the act of violence that happened in Orlando just a few days ago has left me wondering what's really going on with our country.
When I woke up to the news of what had happened, I didn't realize the magnitude of it. I thought, "another shooting happened," which is crazy, right? Why has this become the norm of our country? That waking up to a daily act of violence isn't out of the ordinary? However, when I found out more, I felt sadder than ever. This was the deadliest terror attack in our country since the 9/11 attacks over ten years ago, something I was barely old enough to remember.
When things like this happen, you try to figure out why someone would want to do this. Was there a motive and what was the reasoning behind it? Was there a horrific past of this person that caused them to do this? There's always so many questions and I've seen the great amount of coverage done to try and make sense of this situation. There's so much speculation but barely anything that makes sense. It never makes sense to kill innocent people to make a statement and sensible, rational people recognize that.
What angered me the most about this was that it wasn't just an attack on the American country but also the LGBTQ community. A community that has dealt with huge amounts of discrimination from others, unable to marry the ones they love and express that for the longest time. Although gay marriage has been legalized as of last year, there are still people out there who hate the LGBTQ community simply because they're themselves.
We live in a hate-filled world where people can't accept the fact that some people are different and don't believe in the same values. Coming from a Christian perspective, someone who strongly believes in the ideas of Jesus Christ and God, the idea that God loves everyone no matter who they are and who they love is true. There's been a great amount of progression and acceptance for the LGBTQ community but it hasn't been enough. While we know that this attack on Orlando was an act of terror, it's no coincidence that it was an attack on a gay nightclub, where any gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual or queer person can freely express themselves without the judgement from our sometimes unloving society.
It's because of a hateful person that these people are afraid to allow themselves the comfort of knowing they can be who they want without someone hurting them. The more I find out daily about this attack, the angrier I become. The clues and the evidence more officials find, the realization that this could've been avoided is more evident. The lives horrifically lost at the hands of this one, cruel person could've been possibly prevented. It makes me frustrated, infuriated and devastated not only for the families that have to deal with the horrible loss of their loved ones but also for our country. It didn't hurt me directly, I didn't know anyone who died or was hurt through this attack but it's hurt me in the sense that it's our country under attack by hateful people living here.
My heart hurts because this is an act of violence that was meant to hurt not only our home but the freedom people have to be themselves. Hearing the survivor stories makes me sick to my stomach and I wish this wasn't something we regularly heard about, the sickening, morbid stories of shooting survivors and how they pulled through after almost dying at the hands of an unstable individual.
Maybe I'm just a young, naive adult who looks at the world through rose-tinted glasses, wanting nothing more than for everyone to get along and love one another. But I don't think it's too much to ask for. There's always going to be bad people in this world who want to do harm to others, whether it's through hurtful words, physical violence and unfortunately like we saw recently through the traumatic loss of life in Orlando.
I watch video tributes for the victims, naming who they were, what they did and how old they were and I sob. Majority of them were young people with a whole life ahead of them, destined to do amazing things. I feel a deep emotional hurt for these people even though I don't know them and I wonder how that's possible. And I think it's because this affects us all as a whole. When tragic things like this happen in our society, we come together and experience it together. We mourn together because that's how good, caring, loving people feel when others hurt uncontrollably.
A GoFundMe page was created immediately after the attack which rapidly gained over $1 million in less than 24 hours and when the demand for blood donations was in dire need for the victims being treated, the line went on for miles outside of the hospital. The pure kindness from people in times of tragedy gives me goosebumps and it's proof there's still good in this world.
It's sad to realize this is the norm of our world today, that I have to be old enough to experience this grief and sadness we've become so accustomed to. Despite everything that's happened, I believe there's more genuine good and care than evil, it'll always overpower the ones that want to hurt and there's always hope through tragedy. Sometimes it's impossible to hear through the deafening cries of wicked, corrupt actions but the power of absolute pure good and graciousness will always be greater.
