Everyone’s senior year of high school is probably one of the most overwhelming times of their life. Your mind is filled with choices about your future and these choices are for the most part, pretty permanent. There are so many options for colleges or programs based on location or size or a specific study. How is one eighteen year old supposed to make those decisions?

Personally, I had no idea what I was looking for when researching colleges. Did I want to go to a small school or large university? Did I want to stay in the southeast or venture out on my own? Those questions were at the forefront of my mind and filtered every college or university that I researched or applied for. Ultimately, I chose Birmingham-Southern. It was small, like my high school and close to family and old friends, but those weren’t the reasons I chose the Hilltop. I felt at home here more than anywhere else (it only took one visit and a couple of warm chocolate chip cookies from my admissions counselor to convince me). I loved the beautiful campus and the sense of closeness from the students. Everywhere I went, I was met with a warm smile. Those other questions that I was using to narrow down my college search never even crossed my mind.

It was then I realized my concern about having a “real college experience” surfaced. I wouldn’t have the same move-in day experience filled with SUVs and trucks full of dorm stuff I had spent all summer picking out. Instead, I would make a couple trips (it only took about 25 minutes each way) to get my stuff in. I wouldn’t have the parents who cried as they dropped off their new college student. Alternatively, I told my parents I would see them in a few days. I just knew that I wanted to use college as a way to make lifelong friends (besides the education, it is totally the best part). I wanted to be social and get involved on campus but I felt different knowing that I still had high school friends and my family so close nearby. I began to worry about not feeling the same way other students felt. I never really got homesick (no one really wants to feel that way anyway) or never got lost trying to find the nearest McDonald’s or Taco Bell (a benefit I would soon realize). I went home a lot more often than most of my peers. It began to make me feel like less of an adult. Was I really grown up if I still went home on weekends just to have dinner with my family? I felt less independent than I had imagined I would feel. I began to almost regret the decision to go to school so very close to home.

But, as many people will point out, so much changes after your freshman year. I began to realize that I wasn’t so sure I was ready to grow up. I began to see the responsibilities of being an adult and paying my credit card bill every month (and trying to make sure it was on time) or putting gas in my car. Life was a lot simpler in high school. I wasn’t quite sure that nor am I now, even at 20, sure I’m ready to be quite as independent as I thought. Sophomore and now junior year have taught me that it is amazing to be able to call your mom and meet her for lunch downtown. It is great to know that if you get a flat tire, your dad will always come save you (even if he gripes about how you should be able to do it yourself).

It took some adjusting, as any growing up process will do, but it is possible. I realized that I never had to make the choice of stay the same or create someone new in college. I could have both and actually, I wouldn’t have it any other way.