To someone who is exhausted, distraught, and frustrated:

I would ask how you are holding up, but I think I already know the answer. You are likely feeling extremely frustrated by how bad everything in your life seems to be going. It probably feels like it is just one thing after another right now and each one is worse than the last. This may not be the worst your life has ever been; perhaps you have endured so much trauma and sadness that you feel silly for letting what is going on get to you. Or perhaps this is the worst your life has ever been, but you still feel silly for having any feelings at all. Trust me when I say: I have been where you are. The days are long and the nights are longer but you have to hold onto the hope that things will be okay. Please know that I will do my best to help you however I can.

Let me just say, it is okay. It is okay to feel down and upset but it is not okay to let these feelings take over your life. With that being said. the worst thing you can do is change your emotions for someone else. Don’t do something because your friends want you to. Do it for you. Do not let your friends pressure you into going somewhere you do not want to go or see someone you are not comfortable around. Also, please do not let a breakup affect how you see yourself. If someone does not want to be with you, I promise that they are not worth your time. Do not assume that because one person betrayed your trust, that everyone else will. If you are not happy with your life, spend some time on your own to figure out who you want to be. Try not to date anyone, try not to spend time with toxic friends, and surround yourself with caring and insightful people who will make you feel better on a gloomy day.

Now, maybe your rough patch has nothing to do with your social life. Perhaps you have been studying for an exam for two weeks and you found out that you got a D on it. Perhaps you still do not really know what you want to major in. Maybe you do not know if you want to stay at your current job. This confusion and second guessing may seem like it is ruining the idea of what your future was supposed to look like. The thing is, you can never know what your future is ‘supposed’ to be. You have to keep living until you figure out what it is meant to be. Second guessing your path will make you either solidify in the one you are on or allow you to explore the world outside of it. Do not feel like you are stuck in this bad place because there is always time to change, no matter how old you are.

Another important thing to remember is to take care of yourself. You will never fall in love with a person, a job, or a life path if you cannot fall in love with yourself first. Go out and exercise. Do not use the excuse that you do not like it because there are hundreds of types, and you will always feel better afterward. Go on a bike ride or a hike, sign up for a yoga class, or go swimming with your friends. You will feel more energized and feel better in your own skin. Also, find ways to treat yourself throughout your busy day. I would recommend getting a nice coffee on a rainy day, taking an extra-long shower, or watching your favorite movie when you finish your work early. Put yourself first once in a while, and you may be surprised how much of an impact it will make.

The final piece of advice I have for you is to not be afraid. Do not let how others have treated you or how distraught you feel make you miss out on amazing opportunities. Talk to the people in your classes, join a new organization, make some friends at work, and apply for unique experiences. There is so much life out there to live and very little time to live it. You need to take in every friend, opportunity and laugh you can. Do not let your dark place keep you from reaching out to something that may bring you some light. You can never know what type of person you might meet or what good thing you could do. It could change your life forever.

I know you’re hurting and I know life has not been too kind to you lately. Do not just wait for this rough patch to pass, do everything you can to speed it up. One good thing will come your way, and then another, and then all of the sudden you will find yourself so immensely happy. Trust me, I am not there yet either. Do not feel like you can rush this process. Everything happens for a reason. You trusted the wrong partner, you chose a bad friend, you lost your job, or you forgot to take care of yourself. All of this happened to teach you lessons and allow you to appreciate all the good that is coming your way. Find the silver lining in the situation you are in.

Please do not give up on living your crazy life. You have so much more of it left.