It’s no secret that going out and grabbing a drink with friends is a favorite weekend pastime amongst many college students. We are all dealing with the stress of balancing class, work, internships; the list goes on and on. I am certainly one of those students who heads to the bars to unwind after an especially stressful week, however, I’ve recently started noticing that my experiences “going out” at 23-years old is vastly different than what “going out” meant for me at 21.

The most noticeable difference that I think a lot of women my age can relate to is the amount of time and effort I put into getting ready for the bars. I usually don’t worry so much anymore about putting together the perfect outfit. At 21 I used to walk through stores always having one eye open for shirts that I thought would make me look appealing to the guys at the bars. Fast-forward two years and I now realize that when I do buy a shirt that I think would be fun to wear out, college guys aren’t going to appreciate it whatsoever, but I may get lucky and meet a few fellow drunk girls in the bar restroom who will shower me with compliments. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to feel good about yourself and strut your stuff around town, but now that I’m 23 and in a steady relationship, I’m not very motivated to make outfit choices based on the opinions of drunk college guys.

Additionally, pre-gaming also has a different meaning than it did when I was 21. It used to be that pre-gaming was almost more of an event than going to the actual bars. At 21 I lived with three roommates and pre-gaming meant setting up a table with beer pong or flip cup, taking countless group shots and making sure to get plenty of pictures of the group of us. These days, most of my pre-gaming consists of a group of friends and me having one or two drinks, catching up, and maybe playing a drinking card game or two. I would be lying if I said there aren’t some nights when I miss being that crazy and carefree, but I do appreciate the low-key pre-gaming where I can have full conversations that I will actually remember the next morning.

As for actually going to the bars, a lot has changed there as well. I used to have a routine down to an art form. My friends and I would make our way down the legendary Water Street to take advantage of shots from one bar, fishbowls from another and always always end the night at the bar with the loud, over-crowded dance floor. It was also assumed that while out we would bump into numerous other groups of our friends and make sure to take plenty of drunken selfies with them. Now that I’m 23, things are a little simpler. We spend a lot more time going to one or two bars downtown where things are a little bit calmer. If we do decide to venture to Water Street, it’s mainly because we’re drunk and want to dance, but I quickly re-discover how much I dislike being sandwiched in between three sweaty strangers while getting my feet stepped on. Still, there’s some nostalgia there that keeps me coming back.

The final, and saddest, difference between going to the bars now and when I was 21 is how much more I have to actively avoid hangovers. A couple years ago I could drink with the best of them, accept any and every shot, and be ready to do it all over again the next night. Even when I overdid it and found myself feeling sick in the morning, it never lasted past a solid brunch and recapping of the previous night with friends. While only two years have passed, I am nowhere near as resilient as I was when I was 21. I refrain from mixing alcohols too much, can only take two or three shots, and have to be vigilant in making sure I eat and drink tons of water before bed. If I decide throw caution into the wind and go all-out crazy like the old days (and it is always tempting to do so), I have to make sure I have the next day entirely free because it’s pretty much guaranteed that I will be hung-over in bed until at least 5 p.m.

I’m sure there are plenty of fellow 23-year olds who can be even crazier now than when they were 21, but I think many of us can agree that we’ve toned it down a bit. It’s not that the olden days weren’t a blast, but now we’ve got to worry about things like graduation and finding and maintaining a grown-up job. Maybe we don’t take on the bars with quite as much vigor as we used to, but that doesn’t mean we don’t still know how to have a good time and let loose with friends. Cheers to 23!