Let me start by telling my daily routine, the chores that I did today. Generic, isn’t it? Ah well, so is life!
Waking up after a series of chaotic dreams, the first thought that escaped my mouth was, “Ah well I’ll be damned again!”. Then I went on to brush my teeth, and no- not with a bottle of jack (whaddup Kesha reference!), and while brushing my teeth, a correlation between my philosophical and realistic entities seemed to rise up, and while I was going to ponder over it more deeply, the sweet petite voice of the matriarch surpassed all my wishes and made me hurry in vain.
I went out of my nest and went for the regular duty in a local prison, also (in)famously known as “High School”. I scurried through my brain and jotted down everything, took a mental note of my (dis)tasteful life as I almost died out of hunger and couldn’t wait until break, so remorseful yet teasing that I, along with my peers, embarked upon the adventure to eat our hearts out in front of our teacher. School ended, so did my sleepy demeanor, then started the lessons of self defense. I munched on some dirt, enjoyed numerous punches and kicks, again ate some dirt and then went back to my nest. I slept through the entire afternoon, surfed a lot on Internet, had my regular and unlimited dose of music, took a sneak peak at the mirror and was awestruck by the amazing portion of fat that seemed to be the permanent resident of my anatomy, scrunched my nose over the perpetual motion of mediocrity that hovered over me, daydreamed a bit (read a lot!), then as usual got the hint: oh I’m depressed!
The one thing that didn’t cross my mind even for a moment throughout day was indeed the fact that there was way too much mediocrity in my activities. Sweating my butt for my dream college out of the country while other Juniors held their head up high doing something irrelevant, engaging myself in different activities so much that I don’t even have time for myself, pushing myself way beyond my limits just to prove my worth to a bunch of people who don’t even matter in my life. Doing these things and when even a single thought of whirlwind emotion don’t seem to gauge up your tormented soul, that is the moment you come to the realization that you’re suffering from anxiety, a morbid fascination named depression.
One thing becomes clear to you, the whole time, while you attempted to lead your undesirable life on, the Lord of Epiphany attempted a sardonic smile on your twisted fate.
Why, might I ask, that the bashful judgement of depression seems to be so common among the teenagers, that it has almost become a part of our lives? So cynical that we don’t seem to notice the prolific effect it has on us. Among all that mediocre activities of life, one seems to lost all the Oxygen from their lungs, resulting in an utter demand for air that it becomes to hard to live on without our souls being sucked in.
I see all of my friends, my family members who ask me one thing again and again, “Why such a rush?”. I sometimes think of brushing off all my ambitions and duties and just let myself drown in deep slumber. But my hidden entity awakens me, it doesn’t let me do so. Then I get the fact that I’ve been living in hopes of my ambition, nothing else than this. Maybe I will fail, but let me just be depressed for now, let me just work my arse off and be high on mock pleasure just like the balloons around me are high on Helium.
I see everyone, enjoying a hearty laugh, taking on a little talk with one another, always a smile put on their face. Seeing them, I become inspired to put on a façade of fake illumination that can light hundred bulbs if it wants to. I come to know that I will do just fine, with deep bags under my eyes and black marks on my tiring heart, I will survive just okay. After all, eating this much dirt during karate should pay off!
P.S. I was inspired to write this article by one of Lydia's MIT blog, titled "Meltdown", which addressed the issue of mental disorders flamboyantly. While my article might seem irrelevant and out of sync with the blog post, I most certainly WAS inspired by her to write mine. The original blog post can be read from the link below, give it a read if you do have a wish to escape my nonsensical write up:
