There is no worse numbing and stomach-clenching feeling than knowing that someone you love dearly doesn’t feel the same about you anymore. You try to mentally prepare yourself for what’s coming, the meeting in person, the sighs, the “It’s not you, it’s me”, or the “I think we need to see other people”. You might as well have your leg cut off, because that would hurt a little less.

No, it’s not going to be okay. It’s going to hurt like hell. Even when you’re trying your hardest not to think about it, it’s going to come up in your mind when you least want it there. You’ll lose your appetite or eat everything in sight to make yourself feel better. You won’t want to talk to anyone. You’ll want to lay in bed and cry and try to make the pain stop. You’ll have a heavy feeling in your chest that takes forever to go away. You’ll being sitting home alone wondering where it all went wrong, and you’ll cry in your pillow and your dog will wonder why their owner is so upset. People will tell you, “There’s other fish in the sea” or, my favorite, “He/She doesn’t deserve you, anyway”. No one wants to hear those things when they’re going through a break up.

It’s going to be hard. I’ve been through a lot; my parents are divorced, and I’ve had to switch schools two times. Going through the end of a relationship with someone that I never thought would leave me is the equivalent of being punched in the stomach multiple times. You constantly wonder why they would ever leave you. You did everything right, and you did everything you could to make them happy. Why would they leave it all behind?

There is no particular way to deal with this. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Everyone deals with pain differently. For me, I had to pull myself up by my bootstraps and focus on what I could do myself. I worked my butt off in school, worked a part-time job, and spent a lot time being surrounded by people who had positive energy. I would rarely stay home alone, because I knew I would overthink about it and start crying.

No matter what anyone tells you, there is no time span on going through something like this. It can take months or even years. It won’t be okay for a while, but it will be okay soon. You have to focus yourself on getting better. Believe me, that is so much easier said than done. And no, the best way to get over someone is not to get under someone. Don’t do that yourself or the person you tried to rebound with. Focus on yourself, your family, friends, and what’s important to you. No matter what, you will never forget this person and you will always have a special place for them in your heart. This is so hard to go through, but it will all be okay, with time. I promise.