For those who don’t know “going natural,” according to Natural Hair Mag, means that the person is coming from a history of texture altering chemicals like perms, texturizers, and silkeners as well as (but not always including) color and heat applications, wigs, and weaves. The process of “going natural” begins when they rid themselves of these former methods of hair care and start embracing their natural hair texture.
I had no idea how much of an influence society had on me until I learned how to embrace who I really was and love my God-given traits. As a child, all I ever saw on TV or in music videos were girls with long straight or wavy hair who were considered the prettiest, always got the boy and were constantly looked up to by their peers. I wanted to be that girl, no matter what. So, at the young age of 10, I got a perm that changed my hair texture from the thick afro I was born with to silky straight hair I could run my fingers through. At that point in my life, I felt so happy. I felt like I was someone who was able to obtain all that the world had to offer. I finally felt like I could be an acceptable and appealing addition to the world. Thinking back on it, I’m surprised that I could experience firsthand how much society tricks women and even young girls into thinking their looks alone are what can bring them happiness. However, this is not even close to the truth.
As I grew older, I became less and less fond of my straight hair as it just didn’t feel right. I continued my journey of self-love and self-respect and realized that the perm was a constant symbol to myself of me wanting to be something I wasn’t. A symbol of me not loving what I was given. I would find myself completely frustrated with my straight hair because even though it was silky and flowing, I couldn’t treat it as if it was my own natural hair it also didn't complement my features as well as I had hoped. The chemicals that had to be routinely put on my hair to make it straight as well as the constant heat was only causing more damage. I was frustrated with the reality that no matter how bad I wanted it to be, it was not my hair. One thing was for sure: I knew I had to make a change.
So, by the end of 11th grade, I decided to say no to perms, which would allow my natural hair to grow back. Thus, my Natural Hair Journey began. I found myself doing hours of research so I knew what to do to take care of my hair and how to do it. Unfortunately, during this process, I again let the power of society’s view of beauty tarnish my thinking. While researching natural hair tips and routines, I always came across girls with long curly hair, usually light in its color and sometimes even ombré (both of which seem to be looked highly upon these days). When I started embracing the thought of having natural hair, I was subconsciously embracing THEIR hair, but not my own. Theirs was still long and flowing like what I loved as a child, but my hair was growing in like a coarse little afro. I was almost discouraged by the thought that I would never look like them and by the tough love of my mother when I didn’t do things right (which I appreciate very much).
I found myself again going through a process of self-love and self-respect for the traits I was born with. I had to constantly reassure myself that the hard work was going to be worth it and that no matter what, I was my kind of beautiful. Then one day, after finding a quote on Instagram, I realized that just because I don’t look like someone I think is attractive or that others think are attractive, doesn’t mean I’m not attractive. I realized that my confidence and how I viewed myself should not be based upon how similar I look to someone else’s view of beauty. I was made to look like me, not someone else.
This process taught me that I had a lot more to learn about loving myself completely and I don’t regret any of it. Sure, there were ups and downs, but I believe that through hard work and perseverance, you can achieve anything. And what I achieved, was total acceptance and true confidence. I would like to add that I do not mean to criticize or speak down to anyone who has chosen to get a perm and loves their hair that way. This is just my own personal experience with the process and how it has changed my life. Self-acceptance is a struggle that almost all young women deal with at some point in their life and I hope that my story can bring hope and inspiration to at least one person’s life.
