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Going Home For Thanksgiving As Told By 'Friends'

Put on your Thanksgiving pants and try to survive the questions

Anna Labrecque

Nov 21, 2016

Plymouth State University

Going Home For Thanksgiving As Told By 'Friends'

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Greetings, everyone! It's that time of year again where we forget about our diets for one day and indulge upon carbs, after carbs, after carbs. You know it, you love it (the food that is)...THANKSGIVING! Whether you're going home to family or spending time with friends, know that this day is for being thankful for what you have, not politics, family antics, or drama. I understand all of these things because they always arise on my Thanksgiving. I'm here to tell you to ignore everyone and focus on the food, I'm only slightly kidding. As a college kid, I'll be spending time with my family for Thanksgiving and I know that I'll be bombarded with many questions. I decided to incorporate one of my favorite television shows to truly explain my feelings regarding this matter at hand. Here are some of the questions you can expect to hear from your family/friends on Thanksgiving:

1) How's school going?

I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing: an autobiography.

2) Are you dating anyone?

I've never related more to a gif/human being in my entire life.

3) How about that election, huh?

DON'T REMIND ME!

4) Are you studying hard?

Or hardly studying? (hint: it's the second one)

5) How's the party scene?

Teen drinking is very bad, but very fun (sometimes).

6) Did you have enough to eat?

PASS THE GREAN-BEAN CASSEROLE, PLEASE!

7) How are your grades?

No comment at this time.

8) Are you doing your homework?

I'm dying a slow death.

9) Are you making friends?

About me: Hi, my name is Chandler Bing!

10) Do you have enough money?

Am I a bad person if I say money? I'm only kidding (kinda) Help me, I'm poor.

11) Are you trying to eat healthy?

I'M CURVY AND I LIKE IT!

12) Are you getting a job?

WITH WHAT TIME?

13) How are those 8ams?

I regret this decision (not actually fine).

14) How's the food at school?

Could it BE anymore disgusting?

15) Do you want dessert?

Is that even a question? BRING IT ON!

Happy Thanksgiving from my friends to yours!

P.S. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT BEEF IN A TRIFLE

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Going Home For Thanksgiving As Told By 'Friends'

Put on your Thanksgiving pants and try to survive the questions

1) How's school going?

2) Are you dating anyone?

3) How about that election, huh?

4) Are you studying hard?

5) How's the party scene?

6) Did you have enough to eat?

7) How are your grades?

8) Are you doing your homework?

9) Are you making friends?

10) Do you have enough money?

11) Are you trying to eat healthy?

12) Are you getting a job?

13) How are those 8ams?

14) How's the food at school?

15) Do you want dessert?

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"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

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1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

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