10 Things You Learn From Going Back To A Toxic Relationship | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
relationships

10 Things You Learn From Going Back To A Toxic Relationship

Change doesn't just magically happen overnight.

1150
10 Things You Learn From Going Back To A Toxic Relationship
Twitter

Trust me, I know the feeling when you start talking to an ex-significant other again and it *feels* like the magic is still there. So you give it another try and you realize that absolutely nothing has changed and you need to get out as fast as possible.

1. Actions speak louder than words.

Someone can say the right things all that they want, but at the end of the day it's how they treat you and what they do to show you they mean their words that matters. I know how hard it is to look past what they text you, but all in all you need to remember that if they truly cared they would treat you better.

2. Maybe not everyone deserves a second chance.

Sure, some people are capable of change. However, unfortunately, many people are going to tell you what you want to hear and then they won't make the changes. Be careful when deciding who to let back in your life and who to stay away from; some people are truly incapable of changing.

3. If they were going to treat you right, they would have done so the first time.

As hard as it is to hear this, it's true. Someone is going to treat you right from the start if they want to be with you. They'll show you that they want to be with you, and they would try their hardest not to lose you.

4. If you have to repeatedly ask for someone to make time for you, they're not the one.

If someone wants to see you then they're going to make time for you. End of story. If you have to ask someone over and over what they're doing and if they have time for you, then they are not good for you at all. This goes back to the fact that actions speak louder than words. Someone can tell you how much they want to see you, but if they don't end up seeing you it doesn't really mean anything.

5. The actions that ruined the relationship in the first place are still going to be there.

As much as you can say that you're starting with a clean slate, the past is always going to be there in the back of your mind. If they cheated on you in the past, you're always going to worry that they're cheating on you again. It's unavoidable.

6. You'll fall back into old habits quickly.

Although the first few days or even weeks may feel great, it's the 'honeymoon' phase. You're getting used to each other again and trying extra hard to make the other person happy. However, one small slip up and you're in an argument. One argument turns into a week long fight which leaves both people unhappy.

7. It's going to be twice as hard to walk away.

Of course you walked away the first time and you instantly felt better, but somehow you let this person back into your life again. This time, you wanted it to work twice as much as you did the first time because you've already felt the pain of the loss once before. So in turn, it's going to be even harder to walk away this time.

8. Your friends are going to question your decisions.

Your friends were there for you the first time and they're still here for you now, so they watched you suffer through the breakup the first time and now they're wondering what in the world you were thinking. Although they'll support you, you'll know that they don't agree with you going back to a toxic relationship because no one wants their friends to be in an unhappy situation.

9. There's a lot that's happened that you don't know about.

No matter how much time has passed, you've missed a portion of each other's lives. You're going to be missing pieces of their life which won't make you feel too great. Some stuff will remain a secret and other stuff you won't like. At the end of the day, it's still a toxic situation.

10. It wasn't worth it.

A toxic relationship is always going to be a toxic relationship. The flaws and problems are always going to be there whether they're present or in the back of your mind. It's the unfortunate truth, but it's just a bunch of heartbreak for nothing.

Focus on building healthy relationships with new people. It's unlikely that a former toxic relationship is going to be able to make such a drastic change into a healthy relationship. It's too much of a strain on your emotions to put yourself through that for a second or maybe even a third time. It's time to move on and be happy.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Thoughts While Studying For Finals
StableDiffusion


That time of the semester has arrived once again, finals. The worst week ever. Who thought it was a good idea for all your classes to have exams all in the same week? Definitely not me. Here's 20 thoughts you may have studying for finals.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Disney magic for New Year!

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

5334
Disney magic kingdom castle on new years
StableDiffusion

Disney movies are well known and very popular in today's world. Although many people appreciate the plot and the storyline, not many people appreciate the wisdom these characters possess. Every Disney movie has unique advice that can be applied to everyday life. Here are 11 Disney quotes to help start your New Year off right:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

40 Gift Ideas for the Indecisive

It's a time of love, family, memory-making, and gift-giving. But also a time of stressing over the perfect gift.

119534
Christmas gifts around a tree
StableDiffusion

It's officially December. There is less than a month of 2024, and I still feel like yesterday was summer. Now comes the merriest time of the year, the Christmas season.

Everyone has been waiting for this time of year since mid-October (which is way too early, in my opinion) or before. It's a time of love, family, memory-making, and gift-giving. A lot of times when I ask friends and family what they want, I get a lot of "I don't know" or "I don't care."

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Bucket List To Live In The Now

Find excitement in your life and start exploring wherever you are right here, right now.

1331
mu bucket list

I was sitting at my cubicle, now that I am an adult, looking at the rain pouring down on the windowsill, bumming on life, wishing for the rain to just stop for a full day.

There are moments where we count down the hours until work is over and how many more days till the weekend, and this many weeks until something exciting. Or something like that? Well, I was bumming because my next day off from work is not until Memorial Day weekend, which is not until the end of May. And since this is my first year out of college being a “real person,” I am totally missing the winter, spring and summer breaks. I am sure all of us have felt this way even if just for a hot minute…

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Ways To Survive Finals As Told By Leslie Knope

Because you know you're going to be stressed out, and Leslie knows exactly how to survive.

957
Everything hurts and I'm dying

So finals are on their way. That's right everybody, finals are about to start.

But hey, don't panic. Start getting your affairs in order and prepare for a week of hell. Here's a few things Leslie Knope wants you to do to make your finals week just a little bit less stressful:

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments