When I first came to Mississippi State and went on my tour, I fell in love with this school and my tour guide. Here at MSU, tour guides are called Roadrunners. They are an amazing group of fun, energetic, and bubbly people who just adore this school and I wanted to be apart of it so badly.

Freshmen year I applied and went to my group interview, only to wake up the next morning to an email saying I was not getting another interview and moving on. I was crushed, but eventually hopeful for the following year.

Sophomore year rolled around and I applied again, really giving it my all. I went into the group interview confident and came out feeling great about getting a second interview. I woke up the next morning to, yet again, an apologetic email. I couldn’t understand why, for the second year in a row, I didn’t get an individual interview. I didn’t move on. They didn’t want me or want to hear more from me.

This is the one and only thing I wanted since I decided I was coming to MSU. It was devastating.

One of my best friends, Madeline, got turned down her freshmen year too, so we were going through this process again together. The day I woke up to that “no” email, she woke up to a “yes” one.

It stung a bit, but she was so happy, and I couldn’t help but be happy for her.

We all helped her pick out her best attire and dropped her off at her second interview. She came out shaking and couldn’t stop saying how great it went. After a whole weekend of waiting, she went to the Roadrunner office and picked up her letter that said if she got into the club or not.

It was another “yes”. She did it. She got into one of the most competitive organization on campus and she was beaming with delight. The whole day after she told us, I made such a huge deal out of how proud of her I was. I put it all over my Instagram story, the white board on my door, and told everyone I say that my friend got Roadrunner. It was such a proud mom moment.

I don’t think the sting hit me this time around until I saw everyone’s pictures later that night when they all gathered in the roadrunner office to celebrate the newbies. They all looked so happy, so excited, so at home. Madeline could not have fit in more perfectly. And as much as I was so proud of her, I was so sad. I wanted it so bad.

However, I did not show it. That would not have been fair to her, to anyone who got it. They all worked so hard and they were chosen because they are the best. It is highly competitive and not everyone can get it. I have one more shot next year and I pray to God I get it.

But that’s the thing. It is up to Him. It is completely and utterly in His hands. There is no other option. In this life we have such big plans for ourselves and such high expectations for how our life should turn out but that isn’t fair. It isn’t realistic. Yes, we should strive for things and hope and dream, but when those things fall through, we need to realize that it is His plan, that He is writing, that He is controlling.

God’s plan may not be one that you understand or one that you like at the moment, but I promise that He has such big things planned for you. For us. I may not have gotten roadrunner, and I may not ever get it, but I do know that He is not, nor will He ever, fail me. He has such big plans for me. We must have faith in that. In Him. And if we can do that, if we can hand over our plans to Him, He will make sure that we do the things we are meant to do, the things He created us to do.

So dream big, but make your faith bigger. And one of these days, you will look back and understand the things He did because it will all have worked out. It always does