I get a warm feeling inside me every Sunday that I walk into St. Laurence. It’s been my safe haven for more than 10 years. I feel light-hearted when I leave after listening to amazingly well-given homilies from my favorite, Father Drew or Father Jason. As the New Year began today, Father Drew asked us to reflect and think back to January 1st, 2016. He wanted us to imagine where we were in our lives and to remember everything we experienced since then. “Where do you see in your memories God’s mysterious hand at work?” he inquired. Emphasis on mysterious - as in, life-changing events we went through that could have been challenging, frustrating, horrifying, depressing, or embarrassing that God may have been present for yet, in the moment, we never stopped to consider it and believe so. It was painful to look back at the year and find my most vulnerable moments where I cried until I couldn’t release any more tears or lost my temper at someone and regretted it immediately after or made a fool of myself in front of people I wanted to think highly of me. But, the best part about reflecting on the bad, was finding the good in places I hadn’t thought to look.
Within the past year, I ice-skated my way through my 18th birthday, broke the rules of “fighting with your best friend” by calling her in the middle of our argument to tell her about a crazy night I just had, walked the runway to my senior fashion show (and killed it!), prom-posed to one of my best friends with a pizza, graduated high school, road tripped with my best friends for the summer, started college in another city, found a best friend and partner-in-crime in my roommate, realized who my real friends are, survived my first car accident, became close to family members I hadn’t ever been close to, ended my first college semester with A’s and B’s and so much more. In that moment listening to Father Drew, I couldn’t have been more grateful to have lived another year in God’s hands. Of course, however, the unpleasant memories and stresses will stay with me, but this year, my goal is to get passed them.
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I want this year to be the year I realize my self-worth, to discover little things about myself that make me who I am, to wake up every morning to a positive thought and go to bed every night satisfied with the day. To not be so bitter and angry at people I normally start petty fights with, to do at least one thing every day that makes me happy, to improve my writing and follow the path to becoming the successful author I hope to be someday, and finally, to thank God for everything he gives me. Everything happens for a reason and I know God has a plan for me; I just have to be more patient and truly try to listen to what He has to tell me. What I’m taking away from Father Drew’s homily is that even though I lost strength in my faith and relationship with God last year, he is here with me and he will never leave my side because he loves me. I get so inspired every time I come to my elementary and middle school church, St. Laurence. I’ve never been to mass on New Year’s Day and as every other year, my family and I almost decided against coming once again. As it seems, if I hadn’t come, I might have missed the uplifting homily Father Drew gave today; that was God’s mysterious hand at work.
