"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." - Ephesians 4:1

There are so many distractions in the world. Society uses those distractions to manipulate and convince us to be what it says we should be. I grew up in the hood. Because of that, I was lead to believe I was only capable of growing up to become either a professional basketball player, football player, or a rapper. If none of that works out in your favor, then your next best options are a drug dealer or gangster. Those are the perceived chances that boys in the hood have to make it out of the hood. But, what about college? Well, college goes unheard of. Even though I maintained a 3.0 and above GP since the first grade (I never missed an honor roll), I did not realistically think of going to college until the 11th grade. It's crazy, right? We hear all these rap songs about sex, drugs, partying, and gang-related activities. How many songs are influencing teens to excel in school and pursue a better education?

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I'm sorry that I cant travel both. I am done with walking down the wrong paths. I decided to give up the worldly way of life during my freshmen year of college. I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was on a Wednesday night at a Bible study held by FireStarters For Christ. Towards the end of the Bible study, the leaders, Carl and Kevin, turned off the lights, gathered everyone in a circle, and asked people to step forward if they desire to have a better relationship with God. The Holy Spirit was really moving that night because my feet began to move forward. That night, God showed me that He is here to lead me to a better future and that my job is to trust and follow Him.

I had decided to follow Jesus. I put the cross before me and the world behind me. Growing closer to God has made my life more meaningful. I learned that I did not have to submit to what the world thinks of me and what I should be. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). God taught me what it means to be a man and how to be a real man (Psalm 119:9-16). He taught me how to love others (1st Corinthians 13:4-8). He taught me so much more than I would have learned if I would have never gone to college. I'm thankful that God has been able to shape and mold me into the person He is calling and desiring for me to be.

However, the journey has not always been an easy, breezy walk in the park. There have been times when my skeleton came out of the closet, and the sinful demons came from under my bed.

One day, I was in church. The worship band was playing a song that I didn't know. I said to myself, "Instead of singing and messing this song up, I will just pray." At that point of time in my life, I had been messing up, slipping and probably jumping into my guilty sins. I began to pray to God. I was saying "God, I'm sorry for messing up lately and not being a serious Christian. I'm sorry for sinning a lot lately and not spending much time with you. I need to go back to the way I used to be. The way I was last semester—going hard for the Lord. God, please give me the strength to go back to the way I used to be." Then, God interrupted my prayer like when someone gives you a confused look after hearing you say something ignorant. He said, "The way you used to be? What do you mean you need to go back to the way you used to be? What you used to be is the old Tray, the Tray who always sins and not spending time with me. That's who you used to be, and you already going back to what you used to be. What you need to do is be who you are. Who you are is my child, a follower, and discipline of Christ. Tray, you need to be who you truly are and not what you used to be. Be the person I am calling you to be."

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now, it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland (Isaiah 43:18-19)."

"I've been changed, healed, freed, delivered" are the opening words to "I Won't Go Back," a gospel song written by William McDowell. The song is one of my all-time favorite songs to hear my home church sang: "I won't go back, can't go back to the way I used to be before your presence came and changed me." I love the song because it reminds me that I cannot continue to live in the past. I can't continue to make the same old mistakes and expect different results. If I want to live a better life, I have rid myself of all the negative influences and flee towards the positives.

This goes out to the Christians that found Christ, went hard for the Lord and all, but stopped for whatever reasons and are now trying to find their way back. They have lost their way. When you lose (or leave depending on how you view it) Christ, it is like a game of hide-n-seek. You are the seeker. Christ is the hider. You go seeking for the hidden Christ, but Christ is not really hiding. Christ is out there in the open in plain sight. You're just blind. You just can't see Christ. In John 9, Jesus helped a blind man. The blind man stated, "I was blind, but now I see." The people began to question this man, and he says again, "I was blind and now I see." Other things go on, and the man just keeps repeating, "I was blind and now I see." This story is a reflection on how life works. Many things get repeated time after time until you finally understand what it means. It took me a while to understand the magnitude of Jesus dying for me in order to give me a chance to live a better life according to His words. Now, I understand that God is desiring and calling me to be a better person than the person that the world is calling me to be. I hope you understand that, too.