A godly courtship implies
1. Both the brother and sister are BORN AGAIN
2. It is based on God's Will /Convictions
3. The marriage bed is kept undefiled. "For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything" Hebrews 3:4 NIV

I will be talking about few foundational pillars for our relationship.

Foundation 1
Define that relationship

Some of my audience here needs to sit down, think about your relationship and give it the right name, this will give your marital life clarity and save you from future heartaches.
Courtship is a relationship with MARRIAGE COMMITMENT
Entering into a relationship "Not yet sure if I will marry you" or "With an intention to decide later" or "If it works out" "for the moment" is dating.
I don't know what you need the person for if not for marriage.
It is also never a courtship if there's no such an agreement between the two of you. Amos 3:3

Some ladies are addressing their "boyfriends" as "fiance" whereas the brother is not seeing it so but he chose to be quiet about it because he's already enjoying some benefits of a fiance/husband and vice versa.
"The goal of a relationship is marriage from the start, I don't advice anything short of this."

Foundation 2
Talking about having a relationship with God.

I know of a woman in the Bible who had about 5 failed relationships. John 4
The Scriptures never said anything about the real issue causing break-ups in her relationship.
But something worthy of note is the inexplicable joy she expressed after she surrendered her life to Jesus.
Obviously no man she has ever had a relationship with was capable of filling that "void" in her heart
"There's a longing in the heart of a man /woman which only God can fill"
Nothing and nobody can fill that space except God not even a relationship. This woman was not a prostitute In fact she knew what the law says yet she had changed men a number of times like tissue paper until she met with Jesus.
You are feeling emptiness within you and you feel starting a relationship with one man or lady will give you all the fulfillment, wrong.
People who have scores to settle with God mess up relationships in their ignorance

As a matter of fact, Jesus said "Even the man you are with is not your husband"
Who is the man to her? He was not her husband, not her fiance so who? Probably her man friend.

I beg you my audience, for as many of you reading this message and you know that you are not saved, please make that commitment to God tonight I beg you.

"When you settle your relationship with God; He will settle your relationship"

Foundation 3
On the God's Will thing

God can communicate to you through any medium but you must have developed your relationship with Him to the extent of recognizing His voice/leading.

1. Scriptures/The Written Word
2. The still small voice of the Holy
3. Inner knowing and peace
4. Dreams
5. Prophecy
6. Turn of events and happenings
7. Inspiration through anything e. g animal, object,
8. Vision

Some people like I and my husband never had any "dream" before proposal and acceptance
Yet God directed us into the relationship.

I counseled someone who said her pastor prophesied that a brother who smokes and is a womaniser is "God's will " for her.

Whatever you receive in your spirit or someone receives on your behalf must past the test of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.

Improve on your personal relationship with God! Spend quality time in prayer and word. Your spiritual senses are sharpen through meditation on God's word.

Foundation 4
What is conviction?
This word looks very big to some singles. Smiling

It is very simple!

To be "convinced" means to
1. To prove adequately to be sure you are taking the right step
2. Not to have any fear or doubt in your heart about your choice
3. To have A strong belief
4. To be fully persuaded in your heart/settled in your heart that he /she is the one
5. To have inner satisfaction or peace about the person

Of course, you can have revelational dreams but some will not have dreams; just a knowing in their hearts.,that's what we call conviction

Foundation 5
Ungodly relationship but can be worked on

You are both born again and started your courtship on conviction. You both created the boundaries of purity but something happened along the line, you are BOTH repentant, and ready to start all over again but you just can't help it.

This kind of couple has a hope of still CONTINUING the relationship. Yes, you might not need to Quit.

If the foundation is destroyed what can the righteous do?
Some foundations can be re-built.

All you need do is to report yourselves to someone or people who have spiritual authority over you and your partner. E. g pastor, mentor or parents. Confess to them your sin and readiness to Re-dedicate your life to Christ and be accountable to them henceforth.

We have cases like that in our ministry and to the glory of God one of such couples is getting married by February next year. Their relationship with God is restored.

If you are interested, you and your partner can contact me.
BOTH of you please.

Foundation 6
Quitting an ungodly relationship hurts but it's worth it at the end

I have been there. I cried. I felt lonely. At a point I started wishing I didn't give up the relationship even though it was draining my spiritual life up. But yet despite the depression I clung to Jesus.
I got busy with my life! I started enjoying God. In the space of the 3 years I was single; I found my vision. Life has never been this fulfilling for me.
I know it hurts!
It wasn't easy to give it up considering all the effort you have put into the relationship, your money, time, your heart, and sadly you have used your body/aborted
That lady keeps luring you into sin, she has to go.
Do you know that "dying on the Cross wasn't also easy for Jesus but He chose to shift His focus on the glory ahead.
Of Him and not on the pains he was in.
I'm speaking to people who are presently wallowing in an ungodly relationship; quit tonight.
See what God can do with your life; the glory ahead of you.
I trust someone is praying and making that commitment tonight.

Foundation 7
SEXUAL URGES

One funny morning like that, I got a message from a lady asking "...Ma I want to know if you were having sexual urges as a single virgin"
I laughed so hard and rushed to get my husband.
This question is not stupid it's just that "waking up to read such a message in the morning gave me a good laugh."
Sexual feelings or urges will always be there.
There's a natural urge which happens without you igniting it and there's the raging urge when you feed yourself with erotic emotions.
When I was a single, My uncle thought I have become so spiritual to the extent that I wasn't having sexual urges.
How can you stay a virgin till your 30s if you are not some kind of goddess?
Don't mind my uncle. In fact, he jokingly told me that I would need to go do deliverance before my wedding to awake my hormones.
That was not true.
I did feel "good" in my body but the Holy Spirit taught me to not entertain it.
Especially during my ovulation period, (ladies will understand and brothers too feel "good" at/during the night or early mornings)

There were times I would wake up in the morning and quickly rush out of bed, have cold bath singing and shouting, distracting my cravings, I get busy till the "beautiful feelings" disappear
I speak in tongues but I wasn't a wood. Smiling

I didn't feed the cravings with cool music, R & B, you know that R. Kelly song "if I can just turn back the hands of time."
No erotic movies or novels.
I spiritualized my eyes and ears.

Keeping it pure.
It is not enough to pledge "No sex before marriage " you must take some steps to back up your resolve.
No sleeping over, dress well but not seductively to "kill" him when you are visiting.
Suspend talk about sex until your marriage is in view to avoid arousing each others fantasy.

Kissing is not "manageable"
Some of you are belling the cat saying "No sex but we can kiss."
Kissing is a chain of hundreds of other activities.
What does your hands do while you are kissing? Touching, caressing, smooching privates, fondling breast etc.

Don't ignite the passion
"You may kiss your bride" is a sign of union! It means a union is initiated and you can now begin to explore each others body.

No kissing!
It was beautiful to have our first kiss before our wedding guests. People were clapping and cheering us on. I imagine God shaking His head and saying "That's right."
When next you feel that "urge" celebrate God because your sexual hormones are working well! Engage yourself in good activities.
If your urge has led you into MASTURBATION please inbox me. You can overcome it in Jesus name. Don't die in silence.
In recent times, I have observed through counseling that countless girls and ladies are masturbating. The brothers are also not left behind, sexual urge is not a sin but what you do WITH IT determines if you have sinned or not
"Walk in the Spirit, and you will not fulfill the LUST OF THE FLESH" Galatians 5:16
You can do it!

Total purity is achievable.