January 16, 2016. He uttered the words, “I love you.” I, being my awkward self, was shocked and replied with, “Same.” Thankfully, my boyfriend, Sam, and I have been dating for almost ten months. However, we’ve known each other since our awkward days in middle school. Crazy, right? Our relationship has been practically perfect, actually still waiting to have our first “real” fight. He is not only my boyfriend, but he is also my best friend. From early on in the relationship, I could see a future with him. I could confidently say he may be “the one.” These facts still hold true today. However, I realize that our relationship would not be so amazing without God at the center. I especially realized this after I left for college.
Long distance relationships S.U.C.K. I have met numerous people here at Anderson who are committed to a long distance relationship. I sometimes think I have it hard, until someone says, “Yeah, my boyfriend lives in Ohio.” No matter the distance, long distance relationships take time and effort. Living four hours and thirty-two minutes away from the man of my dreams is more difficult than finals week. I miss him more than my dog (trust me, that’s a lot!). Not being able to see him at least once a week is by all means not fun, but with the right mindset, long distance relationships are actually manageable.
August 20, 2016: Anderson University’s move in day. I was too energetic to sit still in the car pulling up to my new dorm. My family and I arrived on campus, and I could not be more excited to start my new life. My roommate and I organized our room to our liking and set out to meet new people. My time here at Anderson University so far has been life-changing, and I wouldn’t trade my school for anything.
Every now and then, I wonder what it would be like if I had chosen to attend Sam’s school, Campbell University. But, I then think about my amazing friends, professors, and mentors on campus. I am involved in so many wonderful things that I can only find at this school. So, for those of you in long distance relationships and regretting your choice of school just take a step back and realize the amazing things God is doing in your life. You chose your college for a reason. Don’t give up on it now.
One way to create a healthy long distance relationship, or any relationship for that matter, is to watch out for dramatizing the unnecessary. Many people, especially teenagers, tend over exaggerate many situations that can be simply solved with a chill conversation. Do NOT hold onto things that do NOT matter. When a problem arises, think to yourself, “Will this matter at the end of the day?” By using this tool, it will not only help you and your significant other to communicate better, but it just makes everything easier in an already difficult situation. Now, I am not saying to brush hard circumstances under the rug. Talking about things is healthy. I am simply suggesting to let go of the little things.
“I miss you” does nothing to benefit your relationship. It’s just a phrase that lingers in the air and as my boyfriend puts it, “Oh, yeah, okay, that is a thing that was just… said.” If you meditate on the distance, the distance seems to feel a lot longer than it actually is. Expressing your feelings for one another is obviously a good thing. However, those of us in long distance relationships need to monitor our “I miss you talk.” It’s only going to make you feel worse and amplify the distance.
Be involved in what is happening at your school and become your own person. One way to distract your mind from thinking about long distance is by investing yourself in school, friendships, and extra-curricular activities. My boyfriend is a complete nerd and plays for his school’s competitive video game league, and I am on a dance team at mine. Being involved, keeps your mind occupied and focused on the positives. If you just sit in your dorm doing nothing, it is more likely that your mind will wonder to dark places. Quiet time by yourself and personal time with your significant other over FaceTime or other media is beneficial, but we need to have a healthy balance of activity and downtime.
A couple that prays together, stays together. Without God at the center of each individual’s life and at the center of the relationship, the couple will not last. Both people have to be pursuing Christ daily. They must talk and act from a Christian perspective. God is the only one who has the power to carry such a heavy burden as long distance relationships. I thank God everyday for the amazing blessings in my life, Sam being one of them. Learning about and loving God with the man you love is one of the best and reassuring feelings. Because we are both invested in building our relationship with Christ, Sam bring out the best in me and makes me want to be a better person. I only hope I do the same for him. Because God shows His love for me and has saved me, I completely want to be invested in His Word and attempt to replicate His love in my relationship. God is good...always. Never forget that.
I am fully aware that Sam and I could break up at any minute. But, if we are not meant to be together, that just means God has bigger and better plans, and I will be happy for him no matter what. He is going to do amazing things with his life. He is incredibly smart, exceedingly humorous, personable, caring and most importantly a man after God. Not to mention, he's not hard to look at. I can only thank God for allowing me to be a part of his life. While we both have our flaws, we are able to work on them together through a Christian perspective.
With fall break approaching, I could not be more excited to see my family, my dog, and my boyfriend. (I haven't seen any of them in over a month, and I literally put a countdown on my phone.) I never would have thought that back in eighth grade, I would be meeting the boy that would make me want endure all the hardships that come along with long distance. God moves in mysterious ways and is working to bring both Sam and I closer to him through our relationship, no matter the outcome of the relationship. Long distance is hard, but with God and the right person by your side, it’s all worth it.
