This week has been one thing after the other. Whether you feel completely defeated or that there is no way things are going to look up, remember one thing: God is good, He is always good, and he is always there.
This semester may seem like a train wreck financially, spiritually, and mentally. You are constantly exhausted no matter how many depression naps you take a day and even getting yourself to classes seems like a task in itself.
Everyone around you keeps telling you that they "understand what you are going through." Do they? Do they really know what it is like to be you? To be at your breaking point. To want to stay in bed and curl up in a ball, hiding from the rest of the world?
They do not. They have no idea what it is like to be you. You know who gets it and understands it? Not just saying that He does so you "feel better?" Jesus.
Jesus is the ONLY one who truly knows what we are going through. He can see your hard heart that is getting sick of everything the world is throwing at you. He sees you crying yourself to sleep at night. He sees your pain when you see an old friend who hurt you. HE SEES YOU.
I know that you hear this all the time. I know your friends might say it or your parents. Professors who claim to know you say it. So on and so forth.
Instead of focusing solely on what is wrong with you, you need to take that pain to prayer. The pain of feeling like you are not good enough and cannot get through this time. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it seems to be blocked by a huge train right now.
However, I am not here to lecture you. I am here to say I am sorry. I am sorry you are going through this tough time in your life. I know it is not fair, you do not deserve this. The bad just seems to be outweighing the good right now and that is not how it is supposed to be.
Yet, this can only be fixed by two people: you and God. He is the only one who knows your internal struggles, apart from yourself. So instead of worrying about everything, look at one thing at a time. Look at the smaller picture instead of the big one.
The love of God is able to get through anything. He is grace and understanding. He is second chances and a breath of fresh air. He is the where you should run and hide.
In a world where everything seems to be going wrong, look at the UTMOST right. God always has answers, the most perfect ones. He has a plan, as cliché as that sounds. He has no judgment and no bias. Love God, and He will teach you how to love yourself through these times.