I've always been a firm believer that God answers prayers in 3 ways: Yes, No because I have something better, and Wait. I have always heard God telling me yes and that He has something better, but never encountered a "Wait" response. Now, I'm a VERY impatient person. I run on my own clock and that clock is on x10 fast forward. I've got my life planned out until I'm 40! My mind is dead set on my schedule. Well, God put that to a big, screeching halt on that little idea.

Recently, all the plans I had for my future were tossed out the window. I proceeded to roll in a ball and cry for several days, I moped along and kept asking "why me..." Praying "God make my life back the way it was before". Telling my mom that I just didn't understand, and I didn't know what to do. The thoughts and feelings were all new. I kept asking my mom questions she obviously didn't have the answers too. I just couldn't pull myself out of this depression i had sunken into. Then I asked my mom about why God hasn't answered my prayers, I asked for guidance, I asked for a sign, I asked for clarification... And nothing. My mom looks at me and says "Maybe God is just telling you to wait. You can't control this, and you can't handle it if you can't control it. This may be God's way of refocusing your attention and teaching you to wait!" Naturally, I said "but I don't want to wait, I can't wait!" And my mom just gave me this look of "and THAT is why God is allowing this"...

Believe me, the "wait" doesn't make me suddenly all chipper and ready to go about life as normal. I still feel like I've had a massive chunk of my life ripped away. I still fight back the tears when a part of my previous life shows up... I just stand there with the broken pieces of that life and my heart in my hands. I still want to curl up in a ball and sleep until the pain goes away. Yet, when my mom spoke those words. Telling me maybe God wants me to wait... My peace came to me. I felt THAT was my sign. Am I still hurt and depressed? Oh you bet, but it's bearable because God made it clear that I need to wait. I need to trust that God knows what He's doing. Even when it's not what I want.

So what do you do when God says "wait"? What do you hope for? The answer is you pray. You turn your face towards God and don't look away. You trust that God will provide and that what is at the end of your waiting is totally worth he pain you feel. You hope that you have the strength to endure, you hope that you follow God and you hope that you can be the best you can be. And if you ask yourself "why me?" Stop! Ask "why NOT me?" Believe me, you didn't make God mad at you and He's not punishing you. Look at Job in the Bible... Read his story, Job lost EVERYTHING, but in the end his faith to God gave him the strength, not only to endure, but in the end God provided for Job and rewarded him 10 fold of what Job originally had. God told Job to tough it out and wait.

So, yes... Waiting is the hardest thing to do. The pain won't go away. The troubles don't magically disappear, but when you wait... God works, and provides much more than what you believe is perfect now. As I wrote this I kept wondering about my future... The multitudes of "worst case" scenarios going through my head, playing over and over like a broken record. My heart still crumbling at ever thought of the past and what may or may not be in the future... I still don't know if waiting is going to bring me the outcome I want. I know I must trust God; God knows and He will provide. As tears still well-up in my eyes, I say this to you all... If God tells you to wait. Then, wait. I can't tell you that by waiting things will be how you wanted them; maybe waiting won't give you the outcome you desperately want and desire... But God promises to do what is best for us in the end. So in that peace and hope, we must trust...

"Now you just have to keep that focus. The focus on what God is doing is faith. Waiting strengthens faith. Life is easy with a yes or no but the struggle, the journey is in waiting. Waiting requires faith. It requires one to think past themselves, their plans, their abilities. Waiting is making yourself exposed but not weak. Waiting makes you pause yet move forward. It's one of the hardest things to do because as you wait everyone else continues pressing forward. In a time when we get instant answers, responses and results. Waiting makes one stronger and disciplined. As one waits you gain a skill that is almost gone in this instant and disposable modern world." *Advice from my awesome mother!

"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.” John 14:1

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”Philippians 4:7

"Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:14

"For I know the plans I have for you declares The Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope" Psalm 130:5