Growing up, I didn’t really go to church. My family wasn’t anti-Christ or anything, it’s just we didn’t make time for it. God was just another thing I believed in because my parents told me to, kind of like Santa Clause for example.  I never really talked to God or tried in any way possible to get close to him. Until one summer when I went to a life changing camp that showed me how BIG of a deal God is. From then on, I got saved and just got really close to him. But why am I telling you all of this? Well after about a year, I started to doubt. Like hard core doubt. I couldn’t pray, I couldn’t read my bible, or do anything that had to do with God. I had hit rock bottom with no explanation, but they always say that’s the perfect foundation to build up from. 

    I’m not sure if many people face doubt, or if it’s just me? But my best advice is that you can’t give up and hope that the holy spirit is just going to come around and knock some sense into you. You must build your faith back up slowly and learn to let go and let God take back control. First you have to realize where the lies and doubt is coming from which is obviously the devil, because the birthmark of a believer is the bulls-eye for the devil. He will try to turn you away from God in anyway he possibly can, whether that be anxiety, doubts, medical issues, etc. Once I learned where the doubt was coming from, I started to dig deeper in the bible and find things that show my God is real. 

Finally I came along the story of where Jesus walks on water. (Matthew 14:21) Which basically is about how Jesus walked on water and came to his disciples when they were off shore on a ship. But when Peter saw this he said, “Lord if it be thou, bid me come onto thee on the water.” So, Jesus said “Come.” But when Peter started to walk upon the water he became afraid and doubted which caused him to sink. When I read this, I could really relate to Peter, because it’s easy to let our guard down when we become afraid and loose our trust in God. But as Peter is sinking he cries out to Jesus and IMMEDIATELY Jesus stretched forth is hand and caught him and said, “O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?” From this, I realized that God doesn’t want you to push him away and go astray onto your path. But if you do, as soon as you cry out to him, he is there because he never left. He’ll only let you go low enough to let you see that you need him. After I read this I tried to write down all of the miracles that God has done in my life, that can’t be just be a coincidence. I’m not going to type all of them, but one of my favorites was when I was at church and I prayed that God would help to stop doubting and just show me in small way that he is the only almighty God. Then right after I opened my eyes a kid went down in the pew and got saved right then and there, and it kind of was like God said that’s how I’m real. From then on my eyes were opened it’s like everywhere I looked I could see God. In nature, in people, in music, etc. I started to grow in my faith and realize that you can't  physically just see God because he is everywhere. So when you doubt, try to read (Matthew 14:22-36) or (1 Kings 18-41-46). If that doesn’t help then write down ways God has shown up in your life, whether that be the smallest thing. Try to trust in him, and remember that he hasn't given up on you yet, so don't give up on him.      

~Olivia Lane