I don't know. These words have been my most common this year. The people I'm friends with and I have all had lots of changes happening and in the midst of all that, it can be difficult to feel like you have your feet underneath you.
College is a time of transition. On one hand, you're creating a new life for yourself, a new town, new independence, new friends; but at the same time, it's only temporary. These four years slip by and then it's time to make another transition. Maybe it's to another couple years of school, but often it's to the "real world" of work. We once again leave behind a structure that has supported us and given us a framework within which we build our lives.
I have my answers to the questions people commonly ask about the future and how I'm doing. Maybe I'm mistaken, but I think I'm pretty good at sounding confident as if I have a plan and everything is great. However, sometimes I wonder if I really believe the answers I'm giving or if I just believe them because that's what I've said for so long.
This year I have been learning to be okay with saying "I don't know". It's okay to say those words because I don't need to know, I have a God who does know. If I am resting on my own ability to direct my life, those words are terrifying, but they don't have to be. When I surrender my worries to God, he knows the things I can't and cares about everything that concerns me.
Unfortunately, I spend a lot of my time giving control to God only to pull it back a few seconds later. I've gotten better at verbally saying "I don't know" but still struggle to actually relinquish control. Each day brings a new lesson and a new opportunity to surrender my plans, and thankfully God is patient with me as I work through this.