Somewhere along the line, it has become an unsaid aspect of modern life that it is attractive or well thought of to be exceedingly humble. This, I believe, turned many of us into self doubters. But when did this transition from humble to doubtful happen? When did we become so unsure of ourselves?
There were days where I would get this need to run, so I would—within seconds of getting the urge. I would sing, all of the time. An energy would excite my bones and manifest itself in a very real physical way. Something about the world put a purpose, a sense of belonging deep within me. I genuinely thought the world was magic. That flowers and smiles and song and sunshine could heal people’s souls. I thought spreading this goodness—laughing and smiling and getting others to do so too—I swore that that was the key to life.
Where did that incredible urge, that innate need for life…where did it go? Why did it stop?
Did these ideas and indulgences die with my intense belief in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny?
I intensely believed that I could run faster, jump higher, be smarter, and be better than anyone at anything. Hell, I even believed that I could fly like Peter Pan if I had enough faith.
Was it the death of loved ones that shook my belief in myself? Negative encounters with other kids on the playground, perhaps? I am not sure, I am not a psychologist or a therapist or any other certified ‘ist’ for that matter.
I am, however, a girl who temporarily lost her faith in the world and herself.
Honestly though, f*ck that. We should not be saying “oh, I’m not qualified enough for that” or “no, I’m not smart enough for that” or “they are way out of my league” or “I’m not cool enough”.
Don’t say “who am I to”…who the hell are you not to? You’re a human being with a brain, a soul, and a heart. That is all you need to be/do absolutely anything you want to. The biggest disservice you can do for yourself is to downplay the attributes that are unique to you. You are your own greatest advocate. Learn to know every corner of yourself and love it. Try everything and go everywhere. No one will ever walk the path that you have walked or the path that you will choose—so choose one that will ignite a fire for life within you.
Go nuts. Go absolutely nuts. Do not let anyone encourage you otherwise.
If you don’t go searching, you may never find that childhood faith in yourself again…and that would be a damn shame.
Do not wait for someone to save you from your own self doubt.
Save yourself.
