Growing up, “friend” was never a word I used to describe my parents. Caregiver, advisor, banker, coach, driver -- all are better words. My parents made it clear to me from an early age that their role in my life was not to be my best friend, and I’m thankful for that to this day. I grew up with strict parents, and I’m better for it.

I didn’t enjoy having strict parents. My curfew was always the earliest, my spending was always limited, and I was fully interrogated before every outing. All these things made me so angry at the time. I wondered why my parents didn’t trust me. I wondered why I got dealt the short straw in the parent department of strictness. I know now that they were just keeping me safe. There are a lot of bad people in the world, and a lot of dangerous situations, and my parents were protecting me from that.

My parents taught me a lot, like everyone’s parents do. One of their big topics was responsibility. When I turned 16 and wanted to drive a car, they made it very clear that I had to get a job and pay for my own insurance and gas. I’m not sure at the time why I found this so unreasonable. I’m guessing many of my friends could drive without the stipulations, and I found it unfair. However, I know now that you have to work to earn the things you want. My parents provided me with everything I needed, but when I wanted something, I had to earn it. After I got into a car crash, and my parents paid to have the car fixed, my father had me pay him back. He told me it wasn’t to pay for the crash, but to pay for my mistake. I had to take responsibility for my mistake, and I know now the importance of working hard and taking responsibility for my own life.

The turning point for me on my opinion of my parents’ strictness came toward the end of my senior year. I had been at an end-of-the-year party, but I didn’t drink or smoke because I knew I had to be home by 11. I had arrived with one of my friends and a girl she was friends with. Both swore they’d get a ride home. I left the party around 10:40, got home and went to bed.

At around 1 in the morning, I received a desperate call from my friend. Her and her friend had gotten way more drunk than they had meant to and couldn’t find a ride home. I quickly explained the situation to my father and went to go get them. When I arrived, my friend was feeling better, and could definitely handle herself. However, the girl that was with her was incoherent, and couldn’t, or maybe wouldn’t, move. We finally got her into the car, and I drove them home. When I dropped my friend’s friend off, her mother simply laughed, shook her head and remarked, “not again.” I was appalled. This girl was close to black-out drunk, and her mother wasn’t even the slightest bit upset. I apologized for the time, and she shrugged saying “we were just being teenagers.” I would have spent the entire summer grounded, and probably been pulled from college had I pulled that in high school. My parents would have never allowed that type of behavior, and I’m grateful for it.

Now, I’m not saying lenient parents are bad, or even that this girl had bad parents. I just know from my experiences that my parent’s lessons have kept me safer, smarter and more successful. My parents taught me respect -- respect for my body and respect for the substances that can affect it. My parents aren’t against me having a life, but they have given me all the right tools to have that life successfully. They weren’t my peers or my equals. They were my guides, my mentors.

My father’s insistence that I work for what I want taught me that I’m the only one I can rely on to make my life the way I want it. My mother’s tough love has gotten me through many break ups and hard times. They didn’t coddle me; they were tough. My friends often remarked my mom was “scary strict," but they all loved her to death, and many still make it a point to see my mom when they can.

I realize that now, being older, my parents were strict for a reason, and those reasons made me who I am today.