Back in high school, I was a young, lost kid just trying to find her way. I remember coming home and having several conversations with my mom about how I hated being so awkward and unpopular. She told me that I'd be thankful one day for being a late bloomer. I never told her, but I just knew that wasn't true. I'd smile and thank her for her wisdom but inside I just continued to feel left out and uncool. It wasn't until I graduated and went to college that I actually understood what she meant.
I spent four long, awkward years in high school just stumbling along and trying to look like I knew what I was doing. As each year progressed, I grew up more and began to get better at understanding my peers and their "odd" behavior.
Little did I know, I was the odd one.
I use to wander the halls with my head held high thinking that I was so cool. I would pass people that I used to be friends with and ignore them because I didn't want to be associated with losers. I was a major control freak and I wanted the "in crowd" to think that I belonged with them.
But I didn't.
I spent my first year in college adjusting to new things. New city, new roommates, new schedules and so on. I spent the second year of college finding my niche. I finally got involved with theatre and found some great new clubs. I got my first job and made new friends.
I spent my third year of college perfecting and excelling in my chosen careers. I got to take part in weird and fun things I never knew existed. Performing Shakespeare at 2am with my friends? Writing for Odyssey? These are things that high school me dreamed of doing, but didn't think were possible.
Each year of college was better than the last. In high school, I faked confidence. In college, I actually had confidence. I continued to get to learn about myself and those around me, and I liked what I saw. I saw myself transition from a scared unsure girl to a confident, determined young woman. I saw my friendships grow from shallow, "we only talk because we see each other everyday" relationships to "we should get married at 40 if we're both still single" lifetimes of laughter.
Turns out mom was right after all, peaking in high school for me would have meant that I reached the ultimate goal in life and would have nowhere to go but down. Now I know that I still have my entire life to plan and enjoy. And since I haven't reached my peak yet, I've got nowhere to go but up.
