I spent my entire senior year swearing to both my mother and myself that I wouldn’t gain the dreaded freshman 15. Up until that point, I could eat a lot of what I wanted to. I had been running year-round for three years, and anything that I consumed really didn’t stay long; it got burned off pretty quickly. Weight was never a thing that I had to worry about. While general physical appearance was in the back of my mind, weight specifically wasn’t an immediate concern.
And so off I went, naive and stubborn: I would not be gaining any weight my freshman year.
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Spoiler alert: I did.
To make a long story short, it was rough. I have my #ragrets, I won’t lie to ya. However, I learned a lot from gaining the frosh 15, and that “lot” includes good things too, which is what I want to share. So before people start to think that this is a pity-seeking sob story, here is a list of reasons why I’m GLAD (wait wut) I gained the freshman 15.
I figured out that weight gain is actually real thing.
I’m not kidding you when I say that my body had never changed in the ways that it did during the course of my first year. The fact that my thighs were getting jiggly-er, the fact that I could now see stretch marks and cellulite, the fact that my arms (which had previously been the equivalent circumference to toothpicks) were getting all flappy-bird happy, and the fact that my face was starting to look like someone in the middle of the chubby-bunny challenge, was beyond a wake-up call.
And it was necessary. Otherwise, I never would have discovered that my habits were far from healthy. I realize now that it’s much better that I gain weight at this stage in my life than further down the line, when it not only become harder to lose, but it has more problems attached to it. In addition, it’s better to form healthy lifestyle choices early and have them carry through the rest of my life.
Branching off of that last idea, I realized that life lessons like this are best learned from your own experience.
The only person hit harder than my weight gain was my mother. She’d been working our whole lives to engrain the health mantra into my family. Here I was, her first experiment coming back from time alone in the world, and a failure in that department. Whoops. Sorry Mom.
However, it turned out to be a good thing because I am confident that I'll never let myself do the same thing again. That wouldn’t have been the case if I hadn’t experienced it firsthand, and instead had only heard the rumors of that reality from my mother’s mouth. Now, after being affected from it directly, I am motivated to adopt a healthier lifestyle more than ever. Long story short, I know what it feels like now, and I don't like it.
Which brings me to my next point: It is OK to be unhappy with your body.
Today’s society focuses heavily on body image. It’s a topic that is omnipresent and it isn’t going anywhere. The new revolution is to love your body regardless of what it looks like, and regardless of what the world is constantly telling you it should look like. Don’t only just accept the way you look, but embrace it, love it, and don’t ever feel the need to change it.
I am not against this statement by any means. However, I think sometimes the “anti-media” overcompensates for today’s body portrayals with their body love, “don’t change” encouragements. You do not have to accept your body the way it is. You absolutely do not have to love your body the way it is.
The turning point in my “journey” (I apologize for the cliche remark) was when I looked in the mirror and said to myself, “I hate the way I look.” “I hate my body right now.”
Today we are told not to do this; it’s bad for our self-esteem, our mental health, our general confidence as imperfect human beings. But don’t force yourself into loving a body that you really hate. Don’t accept a situation you don’t want to accept. There is nothing bad in changing the way you look, especially if the way you look on the outside doesn’t make you feel good on the inside. The point of loving your body is so that you feel good on the inside; so that you feel happy on the inside. So if you are unhappy with your body and the way it makes you feel, don’t just brush that dissatisfaction aside because we’re told to love ourselves no matter what. Use that as fuel to get to a happy place, a place that will actually lead you to truly and wholeheartedly love your body.
Listen to your body.
I ignored mine for a while. I remember the exact day when I realized I was gaining weight in ways I never had before. Now when I say this it’s going to sound like a social faux-pas, it very well might spark some irritation among the public. But I’m going to say it anyway because it’s the truth: my thigh gap was getting smaller. I stood in front of the mirror and thought to myself, “Huh, that space used to be bigger.” However, I ignored it. But over the months to come, I continued to use that as my benchmark, my measuring tool. And it wasn’t looking pretty.
More importantly, I wasn’t feeling pretty. I wasn’t feelin’ good inside or out and my body was giving me all the signs of that, but I didn’t pay attention. Truth was, I felt like crap. Had I listened to what my body needed, much less what it wanted (because at that point my body was craving cardio, a good sweat, and a lot of lettuce and apples as opposed to the shit that made my taste buds happy), then this article wouldn’t exist. Your body has a lot to say to you. Keep an ear out for it.
Now to avoid getting too preachy, I’ll keep my last few comments short. College, especially freshman year, can be a confusing time for everyone and his or her “identity.” Bottom line, it’ll be easier to figure out who you are identity-wise if you feel like yourself body-wise. That’s all I’ll say about that.
The last reason why I’m glad I gained the freshman 15 is because I realized that I have the best people surrounding me in my life. No matter my physical situation, I felt happy when I was with my friends, felt like the best version of myself, forget what my body was freaking out about. My mind was in a good place because of everyone that I am grateful enough to call my friend. The most important thing I figured out: find the people that make you feel good about yourself; the people who always make you happy, no questions asked.
Because I wouldn’t trade away any of the pounds I gained for the memories I made.
