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Giving Up the Spotlight

How I discovered what I was really meant to do with my life.

14
Giving Up the Spotlight
Film Society of Lincoln Center

From a considerably young age, I was always the center of some kind of attention. People would always say there goes that "Linen" girl off doing something else. I loved the anxiety that the stage gave me, because for some it would scare them away, yet the nervousness only made me more excited to be out there. Since I was in eighth grade, I thought that I absolutely knew that I wanted to be an actor in films, on the dramatic stage of even on the musical stage. I had carried this dream with me for forever until I discovered that being the center of attention wasn't my destiny.

It was my junior year in high school and my English teacher gave us the assignment to make a movie about four scenes from the book, Great Expectations. I got a group of my friends, and we decidedto make our ideas come to life. I had so many ideas and my vision for the movie was so broad and out of my mind that I couldn't describe it for someone else to bring to life; so I decided that I would just bring it to life myself!

On the Saturday before it was due, I put my ideas on to paper, and made my first script. With the help of my four friends, we started filming immediately. Just like my favorite director, Quentin Tarantino, I added my own cameo in, just to be more apart of the production. We filmed it in a day and I immediately started the editing and adding process and when Monday rolled around the film was on a DVD and ready for it's debut. It was a hit, it was funny, but also very dramatic, and it seemed like everyone loved it. The appreciation that I felt from it finally opened my eyes and illuminated the path that was always right in front of me. My place was not to be the center of the attention, but to be the reason for the attention. I have so many stories that I want to bring to life. So much that needs to be said and what needs to be heard and I want to be able to say it. It means more to me to be a director of film or even plays becasue there is a small percentage of women who are in that profession. Even the women who are in this profession do not get the recognition that they deserve. When you see the name Mary Lanae Linen on a movie in the future, know that I am one movie closer to making my dream come true.

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