This is my first article after a long hiatus, I can't sleep. The insomniac in me refuses to allow the luxury of sleep. I have to say, it's been one shit show after another and I can't seem to catch a break. Each day waking up, it just gets worse and worse. But then again, this is usually normal for me. The only difference this time is that problems came from nearly all directions; either at the same time or one after another. I’m sitting here, asking-yelling to myself, “What the FUCK happened to my life?!!” It’s all gone so wrong; I don’t even know where to begin. I wish I had an answer but I don’t; I don’t even know what the hell is happening anymore really. Eventually, as in all things, everything had reached a point where I was going to give up…permanently. If it’s what you’re thinking, then that’s exactly what it is.

Anyone who’s everyone who knows me, knows that I’m not one to usually give up just like that. They can tell you that I consider all other solutions before sitting around, letting myself be damned by the world. Just this time, things were different. Daily tasks, routines, and even the things I enjoy doing became so extra. All the usual, unnecessary weight I carried, became a lot heavier and the pressure had multiplied. Everyone has a limit and I had reached mine. Another difference is that I had sunk so low, barely even staying together, all with the large and little bits of broken pieces of me; this time, there was a high possibility of not coming back to normal. Yet, here we are and here I am giving some insight on my temporary disappearance. I’m still here, thanks to a few of my peeps.

Now that we got that over with, we can start rolling credits on this chick flick moment and move on to the main points of this whole thing that I’m splitting into two parts. It's about not giving up, but in two different aspects: not giving up on others and ultimately, not giving up on yourself. I'm going to start this off a little backward; meaning, part one is about not giving up on others.

I know there's some bull crap floating around about "you'll hurt less if you let go" or "sometimes you have to give up on people, not because you don't care, but because they don't". I still call bull, because if you really wanted to help, walking away shouldn't have been one of the top options in the first place; it should be the very last thing to do when every other decision has been exhausted.

Think back to a time where you really didn't know what the hell you were doing; it could be from the past or present. Situations got rough and it got worse each passing day. To make it even more messed up: anyone and everyone who ever told you they'd be there for you, left. It left you miserable and alone. It became a lot harder to handle life without someone to help you out. You didn't deserve to be given up on or abandoned just because things weren't going so great. You were asking for help in your own way but no one bothered to care or listen. If you can remember how that felt like, then ask yourself, why you would do the same to others? Why abandon them when they need you most, especially when they're begging you to stay and you have every reason to walk away? Don't be spiteful just because you had to learn things by yourself; trust me, I know what it's like because I had to learn most of everything on my own and it is a very lonely journey.

Understand that just as one person exerted patience to help with your problems, extend the same courtesy. Don't get me wrong, this only goes so far. Some people deserve the help and some don't; sometimes there's no helping a person who won't help themselves. That's just how it is at times. But it still stands to not give up on the person, be it family, friends, and/or a relationship, not because it's cruel (although it is and you're a complete ass for it) but because you didn't deserve to be given up on and neither should someone else be allowed to suffer through it.