Thanksgiving, often known as a time to celebrate our freedom and to have quality time with family, is a different experience for all people throughout the United States. At this time of the year, you may be in a difficult place. Maybe you are not in the best financial spot to celebrate with mounds of food, maybe time with family is not possible or needed at the moment. Thanksgiving morning I woke up empty, I woke up trying to reflect on the positive things that have blessed me throughout this past year. Truthfully and shamefully, it was hard to sort through my mind. Balancing the anxiety of school, the future, and family weighed on my mind heavily, my heart wasn't fully there.This year has been a rough year for me, certainly not the easiest time in my life. But something told me I was missing something, my internal conflict within myself had made me blind to reality. Impatience and yearning for perfection in the moment and second you crave it, is what truly holds back happiness on days and holidays such as Thanksgiving.

I give thanks and break the chains my shoulders bear, because he is him and he is victorious.

It is okay to feel not okay on Thanksgiving. Surrounded by family members and friends that appear to be completely happy and satisfied, I understand it can be difficult to want to share true feelings. I can guarantee every single person in that room has had similar trials throughout the past year; whether this be dealing with cancer, drug use, divorce, and etc. The beautiful thing about life is that every single person has a unique story and yours does not need to be forgotten. Jesus has never forgotten my story and this is what I continue to be thankful for.

Isiah 55:8-9 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."

With the chains of various trials and tribulations we bear, sometimes it is easy to forget that God is constantly reaching out to us. It is our choice whether we decide to accept his offer and reach back. I may not understand the plan and why he has chosen me, but with this baffling mystery, steadfast faith is what I need. I give thanks for a God that understands I may not be okay and continues to pursue me, despite my internal conflicts fighting him back. I am thankful for his grace when he did not give up on me, even when I gave up on him this past year.