Granting ourselves permission and acceptance. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Life Stages

Giving Ourselves Permission

As adults, we no longer need to get our permission slips signed by someone else.

261
Giving Ourselves Permission

There are seasons we trudge through where we often mistake permission for acceptance; where we misplace the authority that we ourselves have had all along. We misplace our ability to grant ourselves the permission we seek and the reprieve we desire.

There are days when I wish that I could leave myself (the inner, nagging roommate in my head) at home while I float out the door and into the day surrounded by light and wrapped in golden warmth with a glowing grin on my face. There are days when I wish I could separate the dark clouds in my mind that cover that light so that I can get out of my own way and find joy in the mundanities of a Tuesday morning. Find joy in the way the bubbles from a sponge become effortlessly suspended in air while you wash out the remainder of some cold coffee left in a forgotten mug. Find joy in the incredible murmuration of a flock of birds soaring through a bright blue sky.

These days of wishing I could leave myself at home are the days when I am fruitlessly seeking out permission from an external source to tell me that it's okay to enjoy the moment. Or to tell me that sabotaging a perfectly beautiful Tuesday is no way to live through a Tuesday at all.

"Cognitive dissonance" is a term that has been imprinted into the cemented structure of my mind as accidentally and randomly as the pawprint in between the two blocks of concrete outside on street in front of the coffee shop. Both accidental, yet both now integral to the structure itself.

"Cognitive dissonance" is a term that gives a voice -an explanation- to the discomfort that we all at some point experience. We become frustrated with ourselves when we can't seem to will our way into enjoying a moment when we know that we should be exploding with gratitude. It's a matter of holding contradictory thoughts and not understanding which is yours and which is just the plus one to your bad mood party.

Although the drive to find joy is always inevitably more appealing in any situation, there is a piece of me that becomes curious about the negative, nagging roommate in my head. I wonder why she's there, what she wants and how I can evict her with little to no rebuttal.

These are the days when we think a situation might be "too good to be true" so we build a fortress around ourselves and don't bother creating any sort of drawbridge to connect us to whatever lies on the other side of the alligator-filled moat.

I think it's perfectly human the way we try to protect the awareness within us; the way we become scared to let ourselves get too happy because as science has taught us, whatever goes up, must come down.

We look for permission to believe in a world where whatever goes up, can keep going up and can multiply and fly and soar and we could be blissfully happy.

However, we also require a dose of acceptance for when we're soaring and hit a stent of rough air. We're still up there, flying high but what's different between hitting turbulent air and hitting a roadblock is that in the air, you can still see the way ahead of you because turbulent air is not solid and can be seen through. With a roadblock, your vantage point is limited.

To live beyond roadblocks and to see beyond turbulent stretches is to give yourself permission to enjoy a moment. It's leaning into discomfort, leaning into a sense of dissonance and re-centering yourself back to where you need to be: peaceful, accepting and in control of your own permission slips.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
ross geller
YouTube

As college students, we are all familiar with the horror show that is course registration week. Whether you are an incoming freshman or selecting classes for your last semester, I am certain that you can relate to how traumatic this can be.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

Bonus points if it is more than two.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

12 Things I Learned my Freshmen Year of College

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

4241
friends

Whether you're commuting or dorming, your first year of college is a huge adjustment. The transition from living with parents to being on my own was an experience I couldn't have even imagined- both a good and a bad thing. Here's a personal archive of a few of the things I learned after going away for the first time.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Economic Benefits of Higher Wages

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

302999
Illistrated image of people crowded with banners to support a cause
StableDiffusion

Raising the minimum wage to a livable wage would not only benefit workers and their families, it would also have positive impacts on the economy and society. Studies have shown that by increasing the minimum wage, poverty and inequality can be reduced by enabling workers to meet their basic needs and reducing income disparities.

I come from a low-income family. A family, like many others in the United States, which has lived paycheck to paycheck. My family and other families in my community have been trying to make ends meet by living on the minimum wage. We are proof that it doesn't work.

Keep Reading...Show less
blank paper
Allena Tapia

As an English Major in college, I have a lot of writing and especially creative writing pieces that I work on throughout the semester and sometimes, I'll find it hard to get the motivation to type a few pages and the thought process that goes behind it. These are eleven thoughts that I have as a writer while writing my stories.

Keep Reading...Show less
April Ludgate

Every college student knows and understands the struggle of forcing themselves to continue to care about school. Between the piles of homework, the hours of studying and the painfully long lectures, the desire to dropout is something that is constantly weighing on each and every one of us, but the glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel helps to keep us motivated. While we are somehow managing to stay enrolled and (semi) alert, that does not mean that our inner-demons aren't telling us otherwise, and who is better to explain inner-demons than the beloved April Ludgate herself? Because of her dark-spirit and lack of filter, April has successfully been able to describe the emotional roller-coaster that is college on at least 13 different occasions and here they are.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments