I know a lot of people that hate reading books about depression because all it does is trigger their own.

I also hate the term “trigger.” Like my anxieties and worries are akin to a gun that can be set off with a simple motion of the finger. It’s ridiculously accurate if you think about it, though I hate to admit it. I saw my ex a few months after we broke up and that simple act of seeing another person sent me spiraling into hiccuping sobs. But the term “trigger” has evolved into something more like a joke than anything else. People joke about simple acts setting them off, but it doesn’t relate to any anxieties or depressions or anything else like that. But this is fairly off-topic.

Books about depression, especially fiction books, get me feeling down in the dumps. I can only imagine what it does to other people facing more serious side-effects of their mental illness. These books (even though they don’t try) oftentimes romanticize one’s sadness and I’m left feeling like I’m in a depression book of my own, running through the plot to my own story. I get so glum when I think about my own depression that I often have to take long walks to bask in the aura of my own sadness. I pretend that I’m in a music video where some gritty-voiced rock singer strums an acoustic guitar when I try not to get hit by a car sliding across the street. As the tears slowly form, the guitar picks up and we dive into the chorus when I angrily brush the salty water from my face. It’s pretty romantic, especially at this time of year when the leaves dot the sidewalk and the first flecks of snow grace your lawns.

Depression is different for everyone and with each individual person comes a different trigger. Even though books with depression as the main theme makes me think of my own in a negative way, the same book can seem cathartic or helpful to someone else. Sometimes having a good cry and reminding yourself that it’s okay to have depression is all you need to get your feet back on the ground.

Be generous during this holiday time. Don’t walk on eggshells around your family but if you know something bothers another person, don’t bring it up. Avoid topics about depression. Avoid topics on sexual assault. Avoid topics that could send someone into a downward spiral if you can help it. Don’t give books on depression to your depressed niece without realizing it may be a trigger. Self-help books, fictionalized renditions about characters facing depression: just be careful and considerate. Though you may be trying to help, watch out that you don’t actually hurt them.