I've always been that girl. The one that tries to do everything. The one that overthinks everything. The one that is extremely hard on herself for not being able to do everything. I second guess myself. I doubt myself. And I've always been that girl. For years, that's been me. I have been my own worst critic. The one who points out every little detail that I hate about myself and wonders why I just can't be what I wish I could be. As I sit here and write this, I'm battling with myself over it. It's a never ending fight.
But somehow, I'm always the first to help others pull themselves up when they've beaten themselves down into a pit they can't seem to pull themselves out of. I can encourage them. I can show them how I see them through my eyes. I can remind them of who they are at the core. That they just need to be easier on themselves. Give themselves some grace.
I grew up in church always hearing about God's grace. I heard of the goodness of God and how He loves us so much that He extends grace to us, even when we don't deserve it. When we've fallen too far, when we've messed up too big, when we've turned our back for too long. Even in those times, He is still faithful and just to forgive. And extend GRACE.
So why can't I show myself a little grace?
I never really thought about the idea of giving yourself grace. I've always thought about it as something given to others or given by others. But when you consider the idea that it is also something to give to yourself from yourself, it becomes life changing. In all the little things, the things that are sometimes the ones you struggle with the most, and in the big things.
I showed myself grace to let go of the fact that I may not ever stay focused on one thing, but instead bounce from one thing to another. That I may like to cook sometimes, but I'll always dread it because of the sink full of dishes after. That my plans may never go as I'd like them to, but I always end up making the best of it. That I may randomly get motivation to clean, but it may go away within a few hours when I'm at the point that I have everything laying out across my floor and am sitting in the middle of it all while going through old stuff and finding stuff I haven't seen in years.
Grace to accept the person I am. And to love that all of that person. All the imperfections, all the little quirks, all the things I wish I could change. Grace to love each and every one of those things. Grace to love the girl I am and to see her through a less criticizing eye.
I began to show myself grace daily. And it has already changed my life.
