As we journey throughout life one thing becomes more and more certain: there are very few things in this world that we are able to control. There are so many external factors that have the ability to give or take the materials that might qualify our life as “good” or “bad.”

That’s why I am struck by the sheer awesomeness that these external factors have somehow largely worked in my favor for 23 years. I can’t necessarily make it rain in the club, but I do live in a high rise campus apartment in the heart of my favorite city, I have a multitude of clothes to wear, the ability to drop $20 on tacos at a moment’s notice and false eyelashes out the whazoo.

And while I’m deciding whether or not to do an ice cream run at midnight, there are people on the corners surrounding my neighborhood who don’t have the privilege of eating everyday. I see people brush past the homeless, averting their gaze or otherwise mumbling “I don’t have anything” as they walk past. And I get it, many of us have an aversion to selflessness. The lone dollar bill sitting at the bottom of our purse that we would otherwise spend on gas station snacks, suddenly becomes our most prized possession and how dare somebody ask for it?

To be sure, it is no one’s responsibility to give anyone else their earnings, but is strange how we suddenly become stingy when we’re asked to spend in order to help another human.

Perhaps some of this comes from the fact that part of the rhetoric that fuels this behavior is that some people claim that you should never give the homeless money, only food, which has two major flaws:

1. The homeless need more than just food

People are often afraid to give the homeless money because they feel they might spend it on drugs and/or alcohol. This is not only presumptuous and condescending, but it negates the fact that the homeless are humans and humans need more than just sustenance.

Money provides access to medicine, bandages, necessary toiletries like feminine products, soap, razors, toothpaste and toothbrushes. Money allows them to save so they can buy warm clothes for the cold seasons, a haircut and/or hair styling, or a work phone so they can seek employment (and you know, get back to a normal life).

There are a multiplicity of needs that “just giving food” cannot meet, and yes, they deserve to be able to satiate those needs.

2. It robs them of their autonomy

For a group of people who get very few choices in their day-to-day lives as is, the insinuation that the responsibility of choosing how to spend your five dollars is too great for them to bear is infantilization at best. There is power in being able to walk up to the counter and order your own food, to hand the cashier your money and to receive your order in response. As minor as it may seem to many of us, the ability to look up at a menu and choose for yourself is a privilege, and one we shouldn’t prevent the homeless from having.

Anyone reading this can find themselves in the situation of those who we pass by on the streets everyday. It only takes two things: Loss of employment, then loss of home. And then we’re the ones who just need someone to see our humanity and spare what won’t be missed anyway.