Every time I hear that a school cafeteria has made the news, I cringe. I already know what it’s about. Some villainous crone of a cafeteria lady denied a child a hot lunch, and that’s just not right. What a hateful person she must be, handing that girl a cold cheese sandwich instead of serving her whatever slop she’s giving everyone else. How can she live with herself?

And a part of me understands this outrage. When children are involved, it’s very easy to cry foul - never mind that there might be more to the story. That poor boy went home hungry! That poor girl was mocked by her “friends” because she got handed a cheese sandwich! Why, if those heartless cafeteria workers had just given them a hot lunch, none of this would have ever happened!

But as someone on the inside, I’d like to tell you that when stories like this make headlines, there’s always a side of the story you’re not aware of. For starters:

A school cafeteria cannot deny a child food. It’s against the law, and if it is happening, then an investigation needs to take place. In my experience, however, if a child goes home hungry, it’s because the child refuses to eat the food that is offered. News stories and headlines would have you believe that cafeterias around the country are unfairly discriminating against certain students by making them eat cold cheese sandwiches, but that’s really not true. That sandwich is not so much an alternative to a hot lunch as it is an alternative to nothing, which brings me to my next point:

You can only charge so much. Every school has different rules about what happens when your child’s lunch account reaches a certain threshold. Most of the time, that charge limit is the cutoff for receiving a hot lunch. Some schools allow students to incur a $25 negative balance. Some schools don’t allow students to charge anything at all. My school allows students to charge one lunch. That information is posted on the school website, and I imagine your school district’s website has a similar page.

In addition, my school uses SchoolCafé, a system in which payments can be made electronically at any time. It also allows parents to check daily balances, schedule automatic payments and get low-balance email alerts. Many other schools use programs like these to help lunch lines move faster and for the convenience of never having to wonder if your child’s lunch money is still sitting in the bottom of her backpack. If your child's school doesn't offer a service like this, I highly recommend you bring it up at the next school board meeting.

Even with all of these conveniences, sometimes there are other reasons a child reaches her charge limit. Maybe she decided she wanted a cheeseburger meal instead of her packed lunch from home and charged a meal without asking, then forgot her lunchbox on the bus the very next morning (it happens). She already charged one lunch, but has no food! So, she goes through the cafeteria line, hoping for something to eat. And what does she get?

She gets a cheese sandwich. She has already reached the threshold. When she finds out that she won’t be able to charge another lunch, I offer her the alternative. From there, she has two options:

Take it or leave it. Seeing kids who are hungry breaks my heart. In The US, 15.4% of children live in a home that is “food insecure.” That means that when I see them at lunch, I might be serving them their last meal until I see them again at breakfast the next morning. In Pennsylvania, the average is 13.8%. I do everything I can to convince her to take the sandwich (so that she eats something), but ultimately, she makes that final decision. While it kills me to see her refuse, I can’t force her to take it. And if she takes it, I can’t force her to eat it any more than I can force a child to eat a hot lunch she doesn’t like.

As a final note, I’d like to say that cheese sandwiches don’t happen very often at my small school. Most of the time, it isn’t the fault of the student that they’ve run out of funds (although some kids do buy a lot of extras like drinks or ice cream). I don’t want to give your kid a cheese sandwich, so here’s what you can do to help:

Parents, be vigilant. If you’re keeping track of your child’s account and talking to her about excess spending, you’re doing a great job. Simply being informed about school lunch policies is another good place to start. Putting some “emergency” money in her lunch account and making sure she tells you when she’s charged a meal are fantastic ways to avoid reaching the charge limit.

So, the next time you hear someone complaining about a cheese sandwich, please keep in mind what I've told you. I don't want to be the villain in your news story, I just want to make sure your child doesn't go home hungry. If you and I work together to do our jobs, we can both make sure that doesn't happen.