If you give a college kid a cookie, chances are they’ll want a drink to go with it.

Chances are, if you give a college kid that (blue, raspberry flavored drink named after the type of rays the sun has) drink, they’ll want some easy mac.

If you give a college kid that microwaveable mac and cheese, chances are they’ll want to be wrapped in a blankie.

As soon as you wrap them in a blankie, they’ll ask for money. Chances are, if you give them money, they’ll ask for some more.

You know you won’t give them more because they’ll spend it on something stupid, but you’ll decide to give them some homemade food.

If you give a college kid homemade food, they will wanna take a nap. If they take a nap, they’re gonna wanna go to the dining hall.

If they go to the dining hall, chances are they’re gonna complain about not having enough options, and then eat cereal and ice cream for dinner.

If they eat cereal and ice cream for dinner, they're going to get a cookie for desert.

And if you give a college kid a cookie, chances are they’ll ask you for more.