Being caught up in drama in real life is super exhausting. Who honestly has time to write call-out posts and air every single personal detail of their lives? I know I sure don't.
That being said, watching someone else's drama unfold on social media is the best form of entertainment there is. All the pettiness and fighting, it's absolutely great. Who needs TV when someone's writing a call-out post on Tumblr, posting a thread about their screwed up family on Twitter, or trying to claim that the History Channel's Facebook page is part of some sort of leftist conspiracy in the comments of post about the Salem Witch Trials?
It's like people have nothing better to do with their time or something.
If you're anything like me, you'd much rather watch the drama than participate. And there are 16 things we all know too well when it comes to hating IRL drama while simultaneously living for other people's drama on social media.
1. You refresh your Twitter feed every 30 seconds when you see someone spilling the tea.
Grab the popcorn and a Coca-Cola because shit's about to go down and you absolutely MUST watch the drama unfold — especially if it's good tea, sis.
2. Then you read the replies to the thread to watch the drama unfold.
You just gotta know what people are saying about it, even though you'd never add your own two cents.
3. And you absolutely love it when someone gets roasted.
Particularly if you don't like the person being roasted. Also, my mom is a pro at roasting people, but most don't know that because she only sends those messages to my sister and me. It’s where I get my #Savage genes from. (Do people even still say that?)
4. But you would NEVER, EVER actually instigate the drama.
Starting drama is just so freaking exhausting and unnecessary, and you’re just not about that life. You’d rather watch someone else’s drama go down that air your own.
5. Which is why you’re the master of vague subtweeting.
Everyone needs to vent and social media is the perfect place to do it — if you know how to do it right.
6. And you usually never acknowledge anyone who replies to anything you post with the intention of starting drama.
Being caught in the middle of drama is the absolute worst, so the best way to avoid drama, besides not starting it, is to ignore those who propogate it. If I wanted to start drama, I would've tagged the person I was talking about or mentioned them by name. But I didn't, so who actually knows who I'm talking about?
7. If you do respond, though, you limit yourself to one lengthy response.
I'm not going to keep this up. I respond once and one time only, so don't bother sending me another reply. I can almost always guarantee you won't get me to respond twice on the same subject.
8. And you get super frustrated when someone else chimes in after you’ve already sent your one response.
Dude, I even said, "This will be my only response on this matter." So, I'm not even going to acknowledge that you said anything. Besides, I can guarantee I've already addressed what you just said. Stop trying to goad me into an argument over Facebook/Twitter/Instagram because it's not going to work.
9. The blocking feature on social media is a godsend.
Some random stranger literally messaged me on Facebook the other day, “I don't want to read your long, rambling post...." before proceeding to harass me and tell me to “go back to [my] snowflake safe space."
First of all, dude: Don't like, don't read. It's literally THAT simple. Get a life and just keep scrolling past my long, rambling post like a big boy. You’re the snowflake if a) you can't wrap your tiny, little head around a simple concept that 11 year-olds who read and write shitty fanfiction on Wattpad understand, and b) a random, 19 year-old college student's opinion bothers you so much that you have to take time out of your day just to harass her on Facebook messenger. Also, don't message me.
Second of all, I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of a response. Automatic block. Have a nice day!
(Also, Facebook, why don't you have settings that allow us to set messages to “friends only?" That's stupid and dangerous to NOT have those settings. People seriously get hurt when they can't control who's contacting them.)
10. If something controversial shows up in your Facebook feed, then you absolutely have to read the comments.
The comments on political posts are the best. It’s hilarious to watch how ridiculous people can be as you watch confirmation bias playout in real life.
11. And you usually end up rolling your eyes when you’re reading those comments and some moron decides to spout their ridiculous conspiracy theory.
That random article about why Nixon resigned is obviously means that the History Channel's Facebook page has a liberal agenda and is run by the Deep State with the sole purpose of spreading anti-Christian, race-baiting, leftist propaganda funded by the Clintons, Barack Obama, and George Soros.
It's not like Watergate was a real thing. #FakeNews.
12. Yet there are only certain people you actually talk politics with.
I have a very conservative, Trump supporting friend who's one of the only people I've ever had a constructive political debate with — and we were actually able to agree on something. It's shocking, I know. But most of the time, it doesn’t end that way, so you’d rather avoid all that unnecessary drama to begin with.
13. As much as you LOVE watching drama unfold, you don’t enjoy seeing it in the news coming from Washington.
That kind of drama is actually terrifiying. Also, drama's only hilarious when it's NOT the 72 year-old President of the United States starting it or propagating it.
14. Family drama is the best kind of drama to watch, though.
Usually, seeing someone else’s family drama unfold is more entertaining because you know you’re not likely to get caught up in it and you don’t have a personal stake in it. But on rare occasions, your own family drama can be entertaining.
15. Still, you mostly avoid your own family drama like the plague.
You're related to these people, so it's just not worth be correct their spelling of the German word for “grandma" on Facebook (it's “Oma," btw, not “Ohma;" five year-old me knew that, even though I never called my grandma, “Oma,” but look it up on Collins Online Translator if you don't believe me).
16. At the end of the day, you thank God that you’re not actually THAT dramatic.
Having drama in your life 24/7 is so exhausting. I honestly don’t get how some people put up with it all the time.
Watching drama unfold on social media is super fun, but at the end of the day, it's nice to know you're a mature enough adult to know that you'd never actually engage in it (most of the time). Anyway, there are better things in life than being dramatic all the time.
All you know is that you'd rather watch the drama than participate.
