If feminism is based on the equality of the sexes, then the first examples I ever saw of it growing up weren't from girls. It was from guys.

I was definitely a girly girl when I was little, but the other girls at school turned their noses up at me. Not all of them were kind and compassionate little Disney princesses. If anything, they were little Regina George. Kids can be cruel and girls are the cruelest.

They snickered at my clothes from while they donned the socially acceptable Aeropostale hoodies and delighted in the fact that I would stammer clueless whenever they asked who my favorite Jonas brother was. It was pretty clear they saw me as an insufferable know it all who wasn't up to date with the latest trends and therefore an outsider.

Then, their games evolved into bullying and I'd come home crying and learned to stay away from their dagger like words.

The moments during recess when I really felt alive was hanging out with the boys. They'd be outside playing wall ball, and I'd be right alongside, lobbing tennis balls with the best of them. One kid claimed he could run really fast and we made a game of trying to see who could run faster than the other. The guys also didn't give a rat's ass what the other girls though was cool which meant I could talk to them about anything.

It got to the point where I would be the only girl invited to the guy's parties and we'd have the time of our lives playing mini golf, squirting each other with water guns, and petting snakes. To them, as long as you were a willing playmate, you were in the club and nothing else mattered. Who cared if I was a girl?

As I began to grow more confident, I noticed one thing about those girls: they were boring. They were boring because they couldn't find anything better to do with their life than pick on me for not having kissed a boy at age twelve and trying to persuade me that swearing wasn't "attractive to men."

High school were more so when the lines began to blur and no one cared what was cool or wasn't cool. I found a group of guys and girls that stuck with me through those four tumultuous years and through college. However, I noticed something in adulthood: I could talk about women's issues more comfortably with men than with women. I had been noticing a lot of toxicity on social media in terms of gender issues and women's rights, and the tone I was getting was,

"Be on the exact same page as us or we won't call you our sister."

If I had a different opinion than one that was socially acceptable to women I was shot down instantly. With guys however, I could talk about whatever I wanted. Taxes on women's sanitary products, abortion, the #MeToo movement, you name it, they listened.

They were also willing to talk in person and even debate. It was so refreshing because I was getting them to understand what I was going through and we were trading perspectives with one another, growing wiser with each topic. There was also no rigidity when we talked, and I became more confident through my interactions with them.

I'm not saying all the girls I've known were catty and cruel to me, there were definitely girls and women in my life who were the epitome of kindness and generosity. I've also met a few guys in my life who were total jerks and made just as hurtful comments. But I have never forgotten how the first people who took me in were boys, looking for someone to toss a tennis ball with. They treated me as an equal before all the girls at my elementary school became woke. And if they ever want to meet up on the playground again, I'll definitely bring the girl power to the table.