Growing up, my poofy mane of thick hair has always been a signature staple of who I am. My thick hair has been through it all: barrettes, scrunches, those little beady pony tails, twist pins, and a plentiful number of unjust, mop haircuts. I would go to elementary school with either two dense buns of hair on the sides of my head or with my hair teased up to the heavens as if I was in some eighties sitcom. Thanks, Mom. I admit that I never knew how to manage and tame the beast, and I’m still not convinced I know how even now some days. I’ve learned to coexist with the mane and try to understand it’s ways, as other girls have managed to do, also. Here are 11 things that only girls with thick hair can relate to and understand on a spiritual level.
1. Brushing is not something that's even an option for you.
People always ask you why don't you just brush your hair more. What they don't realize is that when you do even just comb your hair, it expands to approximately the size of Australia. You either comb your hair lightly in the shower when it's wet, or you go without anything at all and rock the kinky, crazy look. Brushing is out of the question. End of story.
2. The washing process is definitely time-consuming. It takes hours for your hair to dry, and when it does finally dry, you are left with a frizz ball of a mess.
Washing your hair is something that needs to be scheduled into your day. It's not something that you can take lightly, especially if you have somewhere to be. You need to shower hours before an even to make sure you are not that person that awkwardly shows up with wet hair. A little prayer needs to be said before you start your shower, begging your hair to actually cooperate with you.
3. Shedding is basically an essential life function for you.
One clump here. Two clumps there. Anytime you even gently run your hands through your hair, you end up pulling some pieces out. Let's not even get started on the hair clinging to the shower walls and suffocating the shower drain. There's just so much hair. Everywhere.
4. Humidity is your actual arch nemesis.
You spend hours finishing getting ready, you step out the door and – boom. The 80° F or above weather smacks you smack dab in the face and immediately attacks your hair. Your hair is defenseless, and there is nothing you can do but let the heat take it's toll with your mane. Goodbye styled hair, hello frizzy ball of oh hell no.
5. Hair ties have an extremely short life-span with you.
Your arms are already getting their dose of cardio in for the day as you raise them above your head and gather your mane into a bun when – snap. Your last hair tie breaks under the immense pressure, leaving you stranded and left having to tough it out as your hair drenches you in sweat. Shaving your head has never been so tempting.
6. Straightening or styling takes hours, and once you finally get the look perfected, it's not long before it starts to unravel and poof up once again.
Straightening your hair is not a quick, five-minute job as it is for most girls. It takes forever to even get your hair to obey and lay straight since the straightener cannot handle the enormity of your hair. Once you finally get it semi-straight, it wimps out and decides to start resorting back to it's original look again.It's an endless cycle. And people wonder why you always opt to rock the natural hair.
7. Knots and tangles seem to pop up everywhere within your mane, and you can never seem to tackle them.
No amount of tugging of yanking seems to free your hair from these pests. Just when you think you're in the clear, two more knots form at the nape of your neck. Cutting them out has crossed your mind more than a few times...
8. Your shampoo and conditioner seem to do a disappearing act soon after you buy them.
Let's face it. A dollop or dime size amount of shampoo or conditioner is not going to cut it for your head of hair. You need two, if not three, times this amount to even give your hair the nourishment it needs. After a week, the bottles seem to be struggling to produce even a little bit of product anymore. The product has just disappeared. It's magic, really.
9. More combs than you can even count have snapped in your hands while trying to tame the beast.
A thin, plastic comb is no match for your mane. While trying to comb your hair while wet in the shower, the comb is faced with the difficult task of pushing it's way through the dense tangles. It can't handle the pressure, and three of the plastic bristles break off right then and there. Can you even blame them, really? Your hair is pretty intimidating.
10. You've had some pretty horrific, although memorable, haircuts throughout your life.
If you pull out the elementary and middle school yearbooks, you will be able to pinpoint some unusual looks that you endured. The mop cut, the Hermione Granger look-alike, and even the coconut-head look: all of us thick haired girls have been there. Cutting your hair and getting a style you can work with is no easy task. It takes the perfect amount of thinning and shaping to allow your thick locks to thrive and allow you to flaunt your head of hair. Once you find something that works, you cling to it and never get it up. It's a beautiful miracle, really.
11. People always tell you that they absolutely love and want your hair.
Your Hairdresser, your mom, your aunt, your awkward extended family that you see only on alternated family holidays – the list goes on and on. Anyone you can possibly think of has most likely commented on or even has ran their fingers through your locks sometime or another. Your natural response is to say, “If you want it so bad, please by all means, take it.” There are some days when you truly debate shaving your head and wonder why you were cursed with so much hair in the first place.
But...
At the same time, you remember that your hair is often easier to pull of styles with, and it’s fullness is both a blessing and a curse. At the end of the day, you embrace your thick locks and are thankful that you were given such a full head of hair. Although your hair may be a pain in the ass sometimes, it’s your pain in the ass. You wouldn't have it any other way. Remember my thick-haired beauties, your thick hair is uncontrollable at times, just as your life. It’s pretty accurate and fitting. Embrace it.
