Did you know girls say sorry more than guys? Yup, it's a scientific fact. And while it's totally infuriating, it's believable. Growing up as a female, we're taught to be "ladylike," basically meaning sensitive, polite, and submissive. Not that being any of those things is wrong, but it is wrong to assume we need to say sorry for when we're not.
Think about it. When is the last time you heard of a guy being told to close his legs while sitting down? Can't think of any moments? Me neither.
But I do remember being told to sit "like a lady," countless times. I also remember saying "sorry," for not sitting like a lady. How dumb! Why should I be sorry for sitting in a comfortable way?
Anyways, the whole girls say sorry more than guys thing got me thinking about how often I say sorry in a day. So one day I counted, and it's... a lot. I realized I was saying sorry for the smallest things. Like, wanting to ask a question at work or for my stomach growling. I obviously can't control the weird and random noises my stomach makes, so what TF was I doing apologizing for it.
Taking all of this into account I stopped saying sorry for a week. And spoiler alert... life changed. Removing "sorry," from my vocab helped me to gain confidence in myself because I was no longer apologizing to my coworkers or my peers before I shared a thought. I stopped apologizing for asking questions, making uncontrollable bodily noises, being honest about my opinion, and let me tell you at the end of the week I felt much stronger and much more like a girl boss. Not even a "sorry, I'm not sorry," slipped out of my mouth.
Being aware of my words over the week was enlightening, but also sad. I had no idea how often I was apologizing and by doing so I was inadvertently putting myself down, which, as a female in this day and age, is a bad move. Saying sorry without needing to is comparable to lowering your worth as a human. Think about it. Every time you say you're "sorry," you're implying that you're wrong, that you did something wrong, and or that you owe it to someone to apologize to them. If you never actually did anything wrong but you keep apologizing, you're devaluing yourself.
Taking the time to be mindful and aware of the way you present yourself, and the way you speak is extremely important as words matter and what you say and how you say it will affect how you feel about yourself. So, if you're an over-apologizer like I was, and still sometimes am, I challenge you to stop saying sorry for a week. You might be positively surprised by the results.
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