In my Hispanic community, I see it, men are kings and women are things. I have friends who break their back abiding by every rule their parents have given them while their brothers do the bare minimum with maximum praise.
As a woman, you could do everything your parents demanded of you and still be scolded for doing one thing wrong. Your brother could be unemployed, doesn't clean, doesn't cook, doesn't respect the rules of the house, comes home at any hour of the night; BUT he did tell his mommy how much he loves her! After all, that is all a mother wants from her son. From a daughter though? You need to be absolutely perfect.
Church? MUST.
Cooking? Are you stupid?
Cleaning? What are you good for if you cannot clean?
Obeying? God himself will strike you if you do not obey your father and your Heavenly Father!
"If you are unhappy with these rules then you can find somewhere else to live!" but "You cannot live with a man before marriage!" and "LIVE WITH FRIENDS? WHO CAN CARE MORE ABOUT YOU THAN YOUR FAMILY?!!!"
I'm just saying...what value are we to our community when we are raised as caretakers but disrespected and discarded constantly? The community needs us, we are the core, the backbone of a family and yet...treated like we are a nuisance rather than a leading role?
The shame that is associated with being a female is relentless in this community. They want you to have a man to take care of you but your value as a woman diminishes if you do not immediately marry. Or they'll ask, "What happened with ______? You know you're not getting any younger. You need to start a family mijita."
Sex? Forget it. If you are not a virgin, you are condemned to the pits of hell and no man will ever want you. No woman will accompany you, you harlot.
As for your uncle, dad, or brother...
I remember a cousin had told of how many women he "conquered" through high school and the uncles cheered him on.
A man is a man who is sexually active without his mother knowing.
A woman is pure, untouched, and lives to make a man happy. But, remember... if nearly all Hispanic men are the same...this man has probably conquered many girls before poisoning your garden.
It reminds me of when a close friend said she was molested by a man in her family. Her mother kept it a secret because it was shameful. And I remember thinking, "shameful for who? The grown ass man or the little girl who didn't know what was happening?" Then I realized I shouldn't even ask that question because men are never held accountable for their actions but women are at fault no matter what age.
This has to change. It is so harmful to women to be constantly degraded by their family and friends. Where is the support supposed to come from?
Build your daughters up, speak life into them!
A strong woman is one who knows her worth, not questions it because her parents say she's never enough.
If your son is a perfect angel, then your daughter can be too.
