So a cute guy has caught your attention, huh? Here are a few steps that will help you land him immediately.
1. Make sure he knows how ~attractive~ he is.
Winking and whistling will for sure work, get creative with it! Let him know his white wash Wranglers have not gone unnoticed.
2. So he's noticed you?
Good for you, girly! Now make sure he knows you're only interested in a serious long-term relationship. Fraternity Sweetheart, here you come!
3. He's not interested in a serious long-term relationship?
WHAT?! No. He's lying to you. Every guy in college is interested in getting married and settling down immediately. TRUST ME. Just stick around. Let him know you aren't going anywhere!
4. You have asked him to eight date functions in the span of two semesters but he hasn't responded with an invite back?
Only 8? What do you expect?! Continue to ask him to events until he changes his phone number. Then proceed to get that new number and restart process.
5. Your hangout hours are between midnight and 3 am Thursday- Saturday?
Make yourself WAY more available by letting him know you will be up awaiting his call (in spite of your 8 am accounting class) . If he's calling you at 4 am better get in your car and BOOK IT to his house. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
**Don't forget to always have something baking so that you won't show up empty handed at his doorstep, that's just rude.
6. He's stopped responding to your texts?
Blame it on the iPhone. The poor boy is probably working with an iPhone 5s and not the 6! Time to do a little shopping for you man ;).
7. His fraternity brothers have no clue who you are?
Introduce yourself as his future wife, that'll get their attention!
** bonus: this will allow him to know you're serious about y'all's relationship while you still remain looking coy and elusive.
8. He hasn't responded to your voicemail?
Call his mom, dad, brother, sister, the President of his fraternity, roommate, dog and childhood nanny. Something is seriously wrong and you need to send out an amber alert.
9. You don't casually run into him on your way to EVERY single class?
I'm sorry but are you even ready for a serious relationship because this just proves that you're lacking in commitment. Figure out his schedule and plan intricate routes to ensure you see him, but don't forget about being mysterious.
10. It's Friday night and y'all aren't hanging out?
Time to hang out by future father of your offspring 's(cute contact name in your phone, don't worry if people "don't get it" at first) door until he returns. He will be so so happy to see you there!
**bonus: you can ward off the girl he's with because she is obviously trying to take advantage of him.
11. The restraining order is only for fifty feet?
If he wanted you to stay away the distance would be much, MUCH greater. This is him just playing hard to get! You go get your man!
11. At parties he doesn't find your constant eye contact endearing? You're wrong. Word on the street is that "crazy eyes" is the new "smizing."
12. He's transferred schools?
Only because the love he has for you was too great and it was starting to affect his schoolwork! Everything can't just revolve around you and his frat, obvi! Time to pick up, move in with him and become his personal tutor! Remember: no means yes and cops mean promise ring coming soon!!!!
