We all know that poster of a bunch of white fish swimming to the left, and then one red fish swimming to the right (or some similar variation of the same message). Throughout the duration of our lives, we’re told to be the person who chooses a different path. Don’t follow the crowd. You’re unique. Dare to be different!

Yes, we’re all unique and different people. That’s the beauty of humanity; everyone is a little bit different from everyone else. But I don’t think that you should have to go out of your way to be different.

Things go in and out of fashion at an insanely quick rate. One day everyone is wearing butterfly clips and choker necklaces, and the next day those are a thing of the past and should be ridiculed. Our jeans have transitioned from bell bottoms, to straight leg, to flared, to skinny, and now the thing is to cuff the bottom. I have gladly taken part in the trends. I look back and wince at the way my jeans drug two inches on the ground, but I was completely content and happy in the moment. I didn’t want to go out of my way to be different from everyone else in those moments.

I got side bangs in the 2000s because everyone had side bangs, and I really liked the way that they looked. I followed the trend, and basically every other girl in eighth grade and high school looked the same. That didn’t mean that we were carbon copies of each other.

In 2008, we all had our own unique personalities, but we were also all in love with the Jonas Brothers (Nick for life!). Then we moved forward together. Some of us became “Beliebers;” others rolled their eyes at the swoopy haired tween popstar. Did it matter that hordes of teenagers all had a collective common interest? We were happy.

Not every single person is going to be exactly the same as another person, but you’re always going to have something in common with someone else. Person A and Person B might disagree about their favorite flavor of chocolate. Person A and Person C will have the same opinion. Person B and Person C might think that Person A is crazy for wanting to dye their hair bright blue. But Person F already has blue hair! There’s always going to be a person in the world (even if you don’t know them) who agrees with you on some aspect of your life.

There should be less of a focus on “being different.” That’s stressful and confusing. If you are different from everyone else, the world becomes a very boring place, and you cannot relate to anyone or anything. No, you don’t have to like something because you are told to, but you don’t have to not like something just because everyone else does.

Focus on being true to who you are as an individual person. Put half your hair in a top knot, wear those mom jeans, listen to the top 40, and be happy that you have something in common that you can share with the people around you. If being the white fish is going to make you happy, go for it!